Happy New Year!

Well, hello there. It's been awhile, eh? It's high time I dust this thing off and start blogging regularly again.

It's also an exciting time for me to blog again because I DON'T have any major life events to contend with, so I can actually focus on myself! Huzzah!

But 2013 was still a great year, what with that wedding and all. And I can say that the Beau and I were successfully married. I'm now a Mrs! It was, simply, the best day of my life.

Dad walking me down the aisle

With my family

With my NEW family

Outside the church

The holidays were their regular whirlwind of family, food and fun. But now it's done and 2014 is here and I've decided this is the year of me. The year I'm going to focus on what I want, on doing what I want to do, on putting my needs first.

This in itself will be a challenge, as I've always focused on what others want (and I don't say this in a I'm-a-martyr kind of way; more in a I'm-not-confident-enough-to-put-my-needs-first kind of way) so I've decided it's time to get better at saying and doing what I want, because the world will not end if I pick what movie we're going to watch or decide what we're having for dinner.

That said, my goals for this year are about excess, rather than cutting back. For example:

1. Eat more foods that make me feel good about myself. So more fruit and vegetables; more lean meat and steak; more smoothies, especially with spinach.

2. Run more, because it makes me feel good. I would like to get a 5K under my belt this year (I do have something else planned, but more on that shortly) but the way I feel physically and mentally when I run is more important than finishing a bunch of races. Though that would be cool too.

3. Knit more, and be more creative overall. Crafting for the wedding took up much of my creativeness last year and it was enjoyable, but now I'm looking forward to making things for the fun of it or for friends and family or even for myself (GASP!) because I want to. So I will.

4. Read more. I tend to go through phases when I can't seem to read enough but then suddenly books are dull and all I want to do are crossword puzzles and play on Twitter. This year, I've started off strong with The Demonologist and I've got quite the list for the rest of the year. And I want to start writing about what I read, too, so that will happen here.

5. Do more yoga. And by "more", I mean "any". I've signed up for four weeks of beginner classes with my sister-in-law so that's pretty exciting. They start next Saturday and I'm looking forward to being bendier.

6. Complete a triathlon. Wait, what? Yup, triathlon. It's just a wee one (375m swim, 12km bike, 3km run) so I'm confident it's something I can not only complete but enjoy doing. It's in July so I've got lots of time to train. Here's hoping Toronto thaws soon because it's hard to run on ice.

7. Be nicer to myself. This is going to be the hardest one on the list but it's something I need to do. I need to be kinder to myself, to tell myself good things, to think good things, to believe in good things. I've been seeing a counselor to help me with this; two sessions so far, with another scheduled for next week. It's been good so far and I'm hoping for more good to come out of it. It might seem weird to be seeing someone to work on self-confidence but it's something I've needed for awhile and I'm glad I'm doing it.

There are things I'm not going to worry about this year, too.

Firstly, my weight. It's something I'm always going to be aware of, for sure, but I'm not going to be obsessed with the number or with what I think I should weigh. Because if I eat right and train regularly for my triathlon, plus just run more, I'll see positive changes in my body, all without worrying about the number on the scale.

Secondly, I'm going to make a HUGE effort to not worry about the size tags on my clothes. This is going to be a big challenge, but something that I need to do for myself. If what I wear fits me well and looks good on m (and if no one else knows what size I wear), then who cares?! Right? Right.

And third, I'm going to stop stressing about how clean and organized my house is. It's a work in progress and likely will be for years and that's okay. As long as I work to keep it as neat as I can (as we can, as the hubby always helps), that is all that is needed.

It's going to be a good year, I can feel it. And with the house bought and the wedding over, it's going to be a year full of small, exciting, wonderful things and I can't wait!

After the wedding, the marriage

When I was 19, I worked at a self-serve gas station, spending 8-hours shifts solo tucked away in the convenience store part of the station. On slow days, I would read the magazines on offer and, after exhausting the selection of tabloids, would flip through the bridal magazines. In one of these magazines I found the wedding dress of my dreams and very carefully used an X-acto knife to cut out the page. I hung on to that page for years and it might still be kicking around at my mom's house. While I still think the dress is beautiful, it looks nothing like the dress I chose for my upcoming wedding.

Even though I picked out that dress 14 years ago, I never had any other wedding fantasies or daydreams. I never picked out colours or planned the kind of fairy-tale setting I wanted to celebrate my nuptials. I also went through a phase where I wasn't going to get married, but that quickly passed. Despite this, I was teased a bit by good friends when, upon receiving my engagement ring, I quickly set out to plan my wedding.

The thing is, it wasn't some vision I was setting out to fulfill. Rather, because I wasn't allowed to elope, and because I'm a planner, I immediately began putting together the non-eloping wedding that would satisfy us as a couple and allow us to celebrate with friends and family.

Even now, four weeks away from my wedding, I'm more excited about the days that will come after November 9. Our wedding day will be wonderful and magical and beautiful and perfect and it will be a fantastic celebration, but I'm most excited about the marriage that I'm getting out of it. I'll be honest, it's the marriage that I want the most.

We bought our wedding bands last weekend and, while wearing his, the Beau casually said, "I can't wait to wear this everyday." Of course I almost lost it. But this also helped emphasize the importance of the life we are building together and the days and months and years we will spend and husband and wife. And it's just going to mean so much to be that wife, to be part of the marriage, to experience every day something that we'll grow and build and work on and cultivate into something even more beautiful than the day before.

I'm still ecstatic for the wedding day that we have planned and for all the work we and our wedding party and family have put into making it so special and unforgettable. And the wedding will, of course, serve as a wonderful starting point for the marriage that comes after.

I am a little scared that I'll suck at being a wife, but I think that just comes with the territory of embarking on a new thing. (Though we've been living together for almost four years so really I've been a wife that long; on November 9 it will become official.) But I'm not scared of the commitment or of the work or anything else that a marriage will throw my way. Bring it. It's what I want most of all.

About that wedding...

Holy snowcakes, the wedding is fast approaching.

I don't have my countdown calendar in front of me (it's proudly displayed at home) but I think we're down to 75 days, or thereabouts. And it's pretty exciting.

I booked my final vendor on Friday and it FELT SO GOOD! It was a salon for hair and makeup services and, let me tell you, it was getting a bit stressful - though a lot of that was self-induced stress because I was lazy about researching a vendor. But it all came together and hair and makeup will only take two hours for the nine women being dolled up.

So what does that leave, you may ask?

Well...

Favours. Seating chart. Place cards (will likely be attached to the favours). Table numbers. Hair and makeup trial. Dress alterations. Picking cocktail reception and dinner music. Visiting the church (because we haven't actually been there yet). Rehearsal dinner plans. Cupcake tasting. Finalizing the menu. Engagement photo shoot (maybe...likely...hopefully). Bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bridal shower. Finalizing the floor plan for the reception. Picking someone to do a reading. Finalizing the day-of schedule.

But everything is in progress and, dare I say it, right on schedule. Overall, this wedding has been pretty easy to pull together. Sure, I've had my meltdowns, because of centrepieces and over the invitations, but it's all been minor issues that were easily fixed.

I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty good about the whole shebang.

Oh, I should also share some pictures of my wedding stuff, like the flowers and my shoes and the guestbook and my veil, because it's all awesome.

Measurements

Wow, it's been awhile since I've been here. That's really only because nothing new or exciting has been happening; even with the wedding coming up, summer has been pretty relaxed. I'm still running (though I've fallen off my schedule the last couple of weeks - back on it today!) and the wedding plans are coming along but it's all the little things now that, frankly, aren't that thrilling to talk about.

So life has been going on and I've been doing some shopping - because that's what I do - and I have realized that I need to get new bras desperately bad.

I've been meaning to go into a specialty lingerie store and get properly measured, but until I find the time for that, I did some measurements at home. Now, armed with a better idea of what my bra size actually is, I'm excited to go shopping again and to try on sizes that will actually fit!

While I had the tape measure out, I got bold and decided to do my hips. I'm not quite confident enough to share the numbers, but I wasn't completely horrified by my hip measurement, which was pleasantly surprising.

Then I measured my waist.

No way I'm sharing that number; it stung more than a little.

HOWEVER -

Armed with a hip measurement and a waist measurement I was able to calculate waist-hip ratio and see what that number meant in terms of my health. A higher waist-hip ratio can mean you have a higher risk for health problems like heart disease and type-II diabetes. So I plugged my measurements into a calculator and braced for the answer.

To my shock and surprise, my ratio puts me at LOW RISK! LOW RISK! I honestly thought that I had a higher risk - and this number doesn't take my family history of type-II diabetes into consideration - but based on my body composition, I'm okay.

The waist-hip ratio calculator had a link to a body fat calculator as well, so I figured in for a penny, in for a pound (ha!) and plugged in the numbers I needed to get my body fat percentage.

Again, shock and surprise at the outcome: I'm acceptable. Sure, it's not in the athletic range or high performance or anything, but still - I'M ACCEPTABLE! Again, I was expecting to be in the obese range so suddenly I'm feeling okay about myself.

Yes, I'd still like to slim down. Yes, I'm a little anxious over the fact that I haven't lost more weight before the wedding. Yes, I'm still freaking out about my double chin for my wedding photos.

But these numbers have definitely made me feel better about myself and have told me that I'm acceptable, just the way I am.

That song and that dance

For Cat Stevens (and Rod Stewart and Sheryl Crow) the first cut is the deepest. But for a just-married couple, the first dance is the sweetest!

(Ugh, that blog opening is terrible. It's also hilariously cheesy so I'm leaving it.)

The wedding plans are coming along really well and we're trying to focus on the things that will be important to the day but also will be the main things we take away from the day as a couple. The wedding rings are a big one and we haven't made any decisions on those yet. Photos are huge but we're very happy with our photographer and we're confident there will be photos that our family and friends think are amazing and beautiful and that we'll tolerate (we both HATE having our pictures taken).

Another big one for us is our first dance song. While guests may not remember months or years later what we danced to, we sure will and that song will be representative of us as a couple for the rest of our marriage. Needless to say, a lot of thought has gone into picking that first song.

The main obstacle with finding that song comes from our taste in music. Being teenagers in the 90s, the Beau and I came of age and grew up listening to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Joy Division, Garbage and the rest of the grunge scene. We're also both big fans of 80s music, which will help make our reception ultra danceable, but there are few (if any) songs in our preferred playlists that fit the requirements of a first dance song.

Of course, there are SO MANY songs out there that are great for a first dance. If you're a Whitney Houston or Shania Twain fan, you're golden. If you're into the classics, like Louis Armstrong, Etta James or Nat King Cole, there are lots of great choices. And if you're a country music fan, the world is your first-dance oyster.

But what happens if you're like us and every discussion of the first dance song devolves into, "What about 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division?" (Seriously. Every time. And the joke has yet to get old.)

A quick online search provides many, many lists of the best first dance songs though it's clear the authors of some of these lists haven't listened to their song choices. If they had, they would know Every Breath You Take by The Police is all kinds of stalkery and voyeuristic; that Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler is all about no longer being in love; that All I Ask of You from The Phantom of the Opera is incredibly beautiful and full of a love triangle and the unrequited love the Phantom has for Christine; and that Here Without You by 3 Doors Down is completely angsty and not at all about love and marriage and being together.

We have managed to cobble together the beginning of a shortlist and there are a couple solid contenders but we're both very focused on finding a song that we both love; that is by an artist or band we both love (or at least enjoy/respect); and isn't full of lyrics about infidelity or depression or political activism or dark erotic imagery. (While I can't think of examples that fit those descriptors, we have encountered songs that seem great at first until the lyrics reveal their true nature.) We're also running into a tempo problem, where quite a few songs that have lovely lyrics and melodies are just a bit too upbeat for a first dance. And we're discovering that we both really like depressing music.

So what will that magical first song be? I guess you'll have to wait until November 9.

The wedding present backlash

So apparently there's this new trend where people write articles and blog posts decrying the outdated, old-fashioned, selfish, terrible, horrible, no good and very bad practice of not just giving gifts at a wedding but also of brides- and grooms-to-be of having the audacity to ask for presents.
(I'm sure there are more examples out there. These are the two I came across today that prompted this post.)

Because anyone getting married is a selfish jerk who should not at all expect anything from their guests. And I get it; we're asking our guests to travel for our wedding and possibly book a hotel room and those costs add up. But because our invitations do not state "GIFT MANDATORY YOU UNGRATEFUL BUM", we're okay with how we've arranged the logistics.

I'll be honest, I could have done without a gift registry. When the Beau and I set up house last October, we combined two full households. Do you know what we bought for our three-bedroom home? A bed frame, an IKEA closet (but only because our master bedroom closet was tres petite) and two couches. THAT'S IT. We already had, between us, enough furniture to furnish said three bedrooms (add: one bed frame and one closet); most of the main floor living room (add: the two couches); the dining room; the kitchen (gadgets, not furniture, but still); the basement living room; the basement den; the basement kitchen (yay storage!); the front entryway; and this interesting space we have in our dining room/kitchen that nicely accommodates our buffet and another storage cabinet and also holds one of our two desks that we use as an extra table for big family dinners.

Plus, we have bath towels, tea towels, dish cloths, flatware, stemware, dishes, a coffee maker (as well as a much-loved Keurig, which was a housewarming gift), place mats, table cloths, an iron and ironing board and all the small appliances a person could need. (Except a food processor, but we've purposely put off buying one of those so we could put it on the registry.)

I'm not trying to brag about how much we have, but instead make the point that when someone makes the argument that gift giving is outdated because it's no longer about young'uns leaving their parents' house for the matrimonial home and needing everything to set up house, I can understand the argument. When it comes to giving a gift at a wedding, it's not about "What lovely thing can I pick out for the couple that they will need and love and appreciate for years to come?" but instead "They have everything. What's the point in buying something for them?"

This, of course, is where the wedding registry comes in handy, yet many hate on it as well. Because the Beau and I have so much that we need, we made the decision to build our registry around the few things we don't have (like the food processor); one high-end item that we're honestly not expecting anyone to buy but we wanted to give the option (erm, Le Creuset); and items that will replace old/mismatched/worn out items we currently have (like new, matching coffee mugs and a full dinnerware set for 12). We also registered at Mountain Equipment Co-op as we enjoy the outdoors and could use a few more things. And I know some people who don't like registries and who would rather buy a gift they like and think the couple will like. This is fine, but I view registries as a list of what the couple wants and will use, which to me is much more practical to shop from. And since we've included some pretty things on our registry, guests can buy items that aren't just utilitarian.

I think we did alright with our registry and we were very aware of how much things cost and that we should give our guests a wide range of options to fit all budgets. And if someone doesn't give us a gift? No biggie - that guest will still get a thank-you card because that guest celebrated with us and that's what matters.

So why did we bother with the registry? I think it's about the generational divide more than anything. Guests from our parents' generation were very keen on us creating a registry so they would be able to buy us something that we wanted, rather than just give us an impersonal cash gift. Of course, some will prefer to give cash. Some will prefer to pool resources and give one gift on behalf of several couples/families. And some will give us a card and leave it at that. But it's okay because all options are wonderful and fantastic and completely acceptable.

So were did the backlash against giving wedding gifts (and wedding registries in general) come from? This is all just my opinion, as I haven't researched anything and don't have any data to back up my thoughts, but I wonder if it comes from engaged couples who have everything building a registry of more expensive items that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves but are better to give as gifts. Or maybe it comes from the brazen couples who specify cash amounts to give in lieu of gifts (a practice I consider rather gauche). Or perhaps it's simply a general backlash against the wedding industry, one that is growing and constantly demanding more and more from couples (engagement party! bachelor party! bachelorette party! stag and doe! bridal showers! rehearsal dinner! post-wedding brunch/lunch/something!) and their guest list.

Then, of course, there's the etiquette that says a guest should spend as much on a wedding gift as the couple has spent on the food/drink for said guest. I think this is a great starting point, but again, it's up to each guest how much to spend.

One thing I did wish was available when we were registering was the ability to register for events. Because we're watching our costs with the wedding planning, we're not going out as much and gift cards for dinners out, a night at the movies, theatre or museum tickets or a fancy food store would be awesome. (Perhaps this should be a new business venture...?) But even though we didn't find that, we found what works for us and we're going to share that with our guests. How they use that information is completely up to them.

When it comes to my own wedding, I view it in two ways: firstly, as a legal ceremony to officially make me and the Beau husband and wife and secondly, a celebration of this awesome new legality. He and I both want to make it a fun and fantastic experience for our guests. Anything on top of that is a wonderful bonus.

The bottom line: buy a gift if you want to. That is your right and regardless of your decision, you should expect a thank-you card. (I feel skipping the thank-you card is a bigger faux pas than skipping the gift, but maybe that's just me.) Of course, each couple will react differently to guests who don't gift and that this their right. But don't be angry because two people decided to make a list of what they want and told you where you can buy it. Go to the wedding, have fun celebrating your friends/family/work buddy/acquaintance nuptials and be sure to tell the bride she looks beautiful.

And if you're at my wedding, expect a thank-you card. (I'm really keen on those.)

Real, perfect weddings - like mine, right?!

My cousin's sister-in-law recently got married and the photos have been shared over Facebook. And let me just say - the photos are amazing! The wedding was incredibly beautiful with many well-thought-out details and a lovely vintage theme. In fact, you can see some if for yourself right here!

With my own wedding fast approaching (150 days to go!) I find I both love and loathe looking at other weddings, especially real weddings.

I was never one of those girls who has had her dream wedding planned since she was a child, nor did I have a clear idea of how things just had to be once I got engaged. Because our guest list is at 180, the biggest factor when we started planning was finding the right place at the right cost to comfortably accommodate our guests. And it's all worked out just fine and I love the venues we've picked but that doesn't stop me from feeling both envious and doubtful when I see other weddings.

Of course, each couple is different and will want different things in their wedding (another cousin of mine is getting married in Mexico next February because that works for them) but that doesn't make me stop second-guessing our decisions.

It's not like it's some kind of competition - even though those things exist - or that people are going to leave my wedding and say, "Well, it would have been better if they'd done what [insert other couple here] had done." And really it's not about the wedding but about the marriage, about making it official and legal and then celebrating the awesomeness of it.

As a bride-to-be I've spent hours on Martha Stewart Weddings and other sites for ideas but I know those photos and ideas are staged to look as perfect as possible, so I take the inspiration but not the exact execution. But real weddings - man, they're always so perfect that I instantly start to worry that mine won't be. And that's what it comes down to, right? Not just the desire for a perfect wedding but the desire for everyone else to thing it's perfect.

All brides-to-be go through this, right? Right?!

(Our wedding will be perfect. I know that. Honestly, I do!)

Me and my wedding flowers

Perhaps it was the arrival of spring but I'm suddenly in full wedding flower mode at home! Ever since picking out the pattern for my flowers, I've known I had to actually make them but it never felt like something immediate I should do.

Then I made a to-do list of what I still had to complete for the wedding and when it topped out at almost 60 items, I figured I'd better get on the flowers! And so far, it's bee a lot of fun.

The first - and most time-consuming - step was to cut out all the petals and leaves. To make sure I made enough, I made a chart of how many flowers of each size (large, medium, small) and each colour (red, purple, book pages) I'd need for each bouquet (bridal bouquet, bridesmaids bouquets x 5). I'm currently working with 18 flowers for mine and 12 for each of my bridesmaids. That works out to 18 + (12 x 5) = 78 flowers. Or, a LOT of cutting.

Fortunately, I have an amazingly talented card-making bridesmaid/sister-in-law who lent me her Silhouette, this magical machine that connects to your computer, reads a template and DOES ALL THE CUTTING FOR YOU. All I have to do it listen to it sing along as my petals are made.

The Silhouette and my laptop, hard at work

While the Silhouette hummed along, I did dishes, ironed, vacuumed and folded clothes. Best multitasking ever! I was even a little sad when all the cutting was done (which happened because I ran out of paper). But I did manage to squeak out everything I need, which is great. Of course, all those pieces needed to be organized; good thing I have lots of baking sheets around the house.

I won't be making cookies for awhile (also: toes)

After cutting and organizing comes assembly and, really, who can assemble flowers without TV to watch? I set up a station in the living room with all my supplies and began making flowers. I've spent two evenings so far making flowers and have assembled close to 18 of them; at that rate I'll have my bouquets made in no time!

Large red blooms come to life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Large purple roses join the mix

 

 

 

Stress is okay; bridezilla is not

When picking out linens for the reception, we decided we wanted ivory table clothes with a purple overlay. Our contact at the reception venue showed us the linens; they were ecru.

"I don't want ecru linens! I want IVORY!" I screamed at her, before throwing the table cloth in her face and storming out.

That didn't happen at all. And it won't happen for several reasons: 1) our reception venue contact is a wonderful woman and I would never scream at her; 2) I would never throw anything in anyone's face; 3) ecru and ivory are pretty much the same thing to me, regardless of what wedding dress manufacturers and paint companies will have me believe; and 4) I will not become a bridezilla.

Ever since we started seriously planning the wedding, I've been very aware of what might constitute bridezilla behaviour and I've done my best to avoid it. Sure, I've had my moments (with the centrepieces and with other small things) but mostly I've just driven the Beau nutsy. I've never vented/yelled/swore at any of our vendors or suppliers and I don't plan to. But that doesn't mean I haven't felt the need to vent or yell or cry or stomp or eat a lot of ice cream.

Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking; I didn't really realize how huge until I made my "Still To-Do" list yesterday.  I thought we were making great progress because of all the things we have done:

- date set
- ceremony and reception venues booked
- officiant confirmed
- bridal party set
- dress/veil/shoes bought
- mens' suits picked
- flowers picked (though not yet made)
- save-the-date cards mailed
- invitations picked (almost ready to order)
- hotel rooms booked
- dinner menu set
- photographer/DJ booked
- bridesmaids' gifts bought
- centrepieces decided on

I mean, that's a lot, right? But it's nothing compared to the 55 items I put on the list yesterday. And it really stressed me out, seeing all those things so carefully itemized. It was like they were taunting me, saying "Nyah nyah nyah nyah, you have to do us!" And I wanted to have a huge freak-out, just bridezilla all over the place.

But I didn't. Because I know I can handle this. I just don't understand why people would do this more than once! I also know that it's okay to feel a little stressed about things because we are planning a rather major life event.

And one of the things on my to-do list is picking linens for the reception but I know it will involve neither yelling nor throwing; it will be just fine.

Hotels: the new source of wedding stress

When the Beau and I decided to get married in Kitchener, we knew we'd need hotel rooms for our guests. While we both have family in the Kitchener area, the majority of our guests will be traveling from out-of-town so we have always planned on setting aside a block of rooms. Our reception site is close to a number of hotels so we figured we'd have our pick of them and would be able to go with the best rate.

And then we discovered there is a curling qualification tournament in Kitchener the weekend of our wedding.  And not just any qualification tournament: the winners will compete for a chance to represent Canada at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Games.

What this means is the hotels near our reception venue that we were counting on are now full. One hotel has 5 rooms left; another has 8. So what became a wealth of choice has now become rather dire.

The other catch? Most hotels will only set aside 10-15 rooms. Sure, once those are filled they will set aside more, but our invitations aren't going out for a couple more months so by the time our guests know about the rooms available, they may be all that's available.

Gak.

I know that it's not our responsibility to make sure that all of our guests have somewhere to stay but with 180 people being invited (we're estimating 160 will come) that could mean up to 80 rooms.

I think we've hit upon a solution that will involve two hotels but the details still need to be confirmed. But if the details don't work out in our favour, I'm going to be pretty stressed. I'm trying to find what wedding etiquette says about how many rooms should be set aside. So far, no firm answer but I'm trying for about 70 rooms. If I can get that I'll sleep much easier.

I'll also be both cursing and cheering our Olympic curling teams in Sochi.

Wedding shoes

Bought 'em today. But they're from the internet (ModCloth to be specific) so I don't physically have them yet. When they arrive, I'll post some pictures.

So very excited!!

Etsy + my wedding = win

The wedding planning is coming along nicely. After the big push at the end of last year to confirm the date and secure the venue, all the other bits have been finalized rather piecemeal. But it's happening and Etsy has been a huge source of that success.

It all started when I was lamenting finding a design or designer for our wedding invitations as I wanted to have them printed locally, through a print shop where a friend works. My sister-in-law mentioned that Etsy had a huge amount of designs to purchase as well as options to work with a designer for something custom.

Several hours of (fun, awesome) browsing later and I'd found designs for the invitations and the save-the-date cards! The save-the-date design has been purchased already, through a shop called DontPanicDesign. I communicated with Amy and she was wonderful and lovely and incredibly quick at replying to my queries and getting the final files to me.

After that, I was sucked into the wonderful world of Etsy and quickly found gifts for my bridesmaids (which I can't tell you about because a couple of my 'maids read this!); my veil (which I bought from Forever Veils and should arrive soon!); and our guest book. The guest book is handmade and comes from Zenfish Leather and again the seller was able to do some custom requests for us. Shipping time will keep us from getting the guest book for a few weeks yet but when it arrives I'll share it - we're really excited about it!

I've also got an invitation design earmarked but we're still finalizing the timing and wording for the invitation. But it's all coming together and we're slowly able to cross things off our list.

We've also confirmed a few vendors, including who will make our cupcakes and our photographer/DJ. It's all coming together!

What's in a bridezilla?

I always promised myself I would never be a bridezilla. Long before the ring, long before the Beau, I decided that I would not be THAT bride, that I would not freak out over any of the details (big or small) and that I would not let emotion ruin what should be a wonderful time in my life.

Tonight I had my first bridezilla moment and I'm not proud of it.

The Beau and I made a trip to Michael's yesterday and picked up some things to experiment with centrepieces. I had found some submersible LED lights that came in our wedding colours and we also found some aqua gems which would colour the water as well as add filler for lights to rest on. We also picked up a wide circular vase and floating candles and started experimenting.

We used various combinations of LED lights, candles, aqua gems, plain water and other coloured gems we happened to already have and nothing really worked. We then tried wrapping a book page around a tall narrow glass and putting a candle in that but the effect was underwhelming.

And then I got frustrated and disappointed that nothing was working and I had a bit of a freak-out. The Beau rightfully pointed out that we have lots of time to figure out what we want to do with centrepieces and that we don't have use any of the things that we picked up yesterday; that we can investigate other options. And this is very true. And after talking it out, I think we have another very viable option.

So why the freak-out?

As we all know, weddings are expensive and it's something we are only going to do once. So when you're spending that much money on a one-time-only event you want it to be perfect. Of course everyone's definition of "perfect" varies and the details that one will sweat will also vary. For me, I knew the venue would be limited to what could hold our guest list. My dress was limited to my budget (which was, fortunately, flexible). Our wedding party was in our control and thankfully everyone we asked agreed to participate. So far we haven't had much to sweat about even as we've made big decisions.

What was it about the centrepieces then? Why were they the trigger for my freak-out? Honestly, I don't rightly know. All I can say is that I am striving for a certain level of perfection and, for me, perfection happens when the Beau and I look at something and we both say, "That's it!" And because that didn't happen with any of our plans, I overreacted.

The plan is for this to be my first and last bridezilla moment. We DO have lots of time to figure out things like centrepieces and we can wait until we have our "That's it!" moment and it will be perfect for us.

But for me, my battle against my inner bridezilla will be my battle against my own impatience and desire for instant perfection. We have time to make it right. And it will be right.

Heck, it will be perfect.

Paper flowers

The Beau and I always wondered what we would do for flowers for our wedding as we found ourselves in an interesting position: in university, the Beau worked in a funeral home and, because of this, flowers have taken on a darker, sadder connotation for him. White roses are especially macabre as they signify dead children.

While it's easy enough to avoid flowers in centrepieces, I wanted a floral bouquet. The solution? Pinterest! Thanks to all the amazing visuals found here, I stumbled across many, MANY patterns and pictures of paper flowers and, after sharing these with the Beau, we quickly became inspired to create paper flowers for our wedding. It also proved a wonderful way to bring our love of books into the wedding theme, as we could make paper flowers out of book pages. (I feel the need to mention that we are only using books that are either really awful and deserve a second life as something beautiful or are advanced reading copies [and therefore uncorrected] that we acquired free of cost.)

After a fruitful trip to Michael's for paper and Walmart for a glue gun, I got down to work trying out some patterns we liked. Here are the results:

The origami ones were the easiest to make as it was just a matter of cutting 3" x 3" squares (one square per petal), folding and gluing five together to create a bloom. This red is very close to one of our wedding colours and I think it turned out lovely for a first try. The string of hot glue and the warped centre circle can be improved upon. But even though we both liked this one, it felt to angular and modern for the vibe our wedding is taking on. With an old-world-style venue, Gothic-style church, ivory lace dress and even a vintage-inspired engagement ring, our wedding is evolving into a vintage-esque, old-world event and we wanted to keep with that.

That said, these flowers may fit in elsewhere in the decor, but have been kiboshed for the bouquet.
(If you want to make your own, here's the tutorial I used)

The next pattern I tried was a rose out of book pages. This was the original idea so I wanted to see how it would look when completed. This particular flower consisted of four petals of five different sizes, all done freehand. The idea of doing freehand flowers is both good and bad: good because it will allow for a more organic, imperfect final product (just like roses are) and bad because it meant that making multiple flowers with multiple people could be problematic as too many different flowers can make for a lopsided bouquet. That said, I love how the printed pages looked but overall, I felt this guy was a bit too stiff. It would be easily adjusted and softened but I really wanted a template so when I recruited my bridesmaids for help (because, let's face it, this is going to happen) we would all be working with the same sizes and shapes.

(Though if you want to give a freehand rose a try, check out the tutorial I used)

 

And so we come to the final rose - and the winner! Again made from the same red paper as the origami flower, I made this one from a template and I'm so happy with how it turned out. There are some tweaks that can be made but seeing the final product, I KNOW this is what I want for my bouquet. The amazing template and tutorial can be found here, along with a great photo of a completed bouquet. Knowing the bouquet used 24 roses of three sizes, I can start the tracing and cutting of all the petals and have everything ready for the inevitable rose creation assembly line.

The Beau and I are headed back to Michael's this weekend to look at centrepiece options as well as to check out more paper. I hadn't realized until this week that all these undecided little details were starting to weigh on me so much; I haven't been sleeping and I've been clenching my jaw and grinding my teeth at night (clear signs I'm stressed). Having the flowers sorted has gone a long way to relieving that stress and with plans to finalize our wedding budget and to move ahead with other details, I'm confident I'll be sleeping again in no time. 

That is, of course, if I can contain my excitement at having decided on the details and having found the perfect flowers!

Wedding dress - sneak peak!

It's just a peak - but here's my wedding dress! It's all you get to see of it until sometime after November 9th.

I love it. So much. I love it like peanut butter loves jelly. Like macaroni loves cheese. Like I love the Beau. And like he loves me.

Wedding update!

There are only 310 days until our wedding! How do I know that? The Beau and I have set a date! And found a ceremony site! And a reception venue! And picked our bridal party! And I bought my dress!

We're a bit excited about the whole thing so we've gone ahead and planned all kinds of stuff.

The Beau and I will be wed on Saturday November 9, 2013. Our ceremony will be at the Church of the Good Shepherd, where we will also be able to take pictures. This is a huge boon as it can be difficult to plan pictures in November. Our wedding is the week after daylight savings and our ceremony is at 4pm, making it almost impossible to get good outdoor shots (provided the weather worked in our favour, of course). But the church is a beautiful Gothic-style stone building and should provide ample photo ops.

After the ceremony, guests will head to the Concordia Club for cocktails and hors d'oeuvre while photos are done, then a family-style dinner of hearty German fare. And of course the day will wrap up with a few hours of lively dancing and fun times with friends and family.

With all the big things picked and confirmed, we now get to focus on the fun stuff like centrepieces, bouquets and wedding favours. Oh, and we have invitation samples and have picked our favourite so now it's just a matter of finalizing the guest list so we know how many invitations to get.

We've only been engaged two months but I feel like we're making decent headway. Some people are amazed at how much we've done, but isn't wedding planning supposed to be fun and easy like this?

WW Weigh-In #52 - Happy New Year!

Welcome to 2013! I hope everyone had a happy, healthy, fun-filled holiday season.

2012 was a great big year for me, what with buying a house and getting engaged, and that awesomeness is going to continue in 2013 since we've got a wedding to plan and a house to continue making a home.

But since it's also Wednesday, it's a weigh-in day for me. Today also marks week 52 of my WW journey - a full year! It would have been amazing to get on the scale this morning and see a nice low number but it was not to be:

Two weeks ago: 189.0 lb
This week: 196.6 lb
Total gained: 7.6 lb

Egad! That was a little more than I expected and, let's face it, a bit of an embarrassment. But - BUT - I know from experience that it's easy to lose those first five pounds simply by eating normally again. And that, combined with more diligent point-tracking, will help me get the excess holiday weight off quickly.

I also need to start exercising again, not just for weight loss but to do away with my back pain and tight muscles. I feel so good when I exercise so it amazes me a bit how lazy I've become with it. My walking plan hasn't panned out yet but that doesn't mean it won't! It really is just a matter of overcoming my own laziness.

And there's lots to share about the wedding and I need to post some pictures of our house and how we've decorated it. It's all so very exciting so here's to a fabulous 2013!

The conundrum over the other dress(es)

I think I've mentioned before that I'm not the most patient person. This is even more obvious now that I'm planning a wedding.

The Beau and I are thisclose (THISCLOSE!) to confirming our venues (ceremony and reception will be in two different places, despite our best efforts) but we just need confirmation from our reception venue. And, seriously, I'm all like, "WHAT ON EARTH is taking so long?!? Don't they know we're getting married in 11 months?!?" I mean, come on.

So to distract myself I've taken to obsessing over bridesmaids dresses. And my ability to obsess is inversely proportional to my ability to be patient. (I think I phrased that properly; what I meant is that I'm super good at obsessing and super bad at patience, but I was trying to find a fancier way of saying that.)

But back to dresses. We've picked colours (hurrah!) and I thought I had dresses picked out, but then the Beau commented on another one that he liked and it just so happens I also like it so now we're all about that dress. The one we both like is long and the ones I had picked out before were short and had different options for the top. The Beau likes those as well but now it's just so hard to make a decision.

I know I have to take my 'maids out shopping and have them try on the dresses and see what works best. And they have all said they'll wear anything, which is simply wonderful and amazing. We're looking at a November wedding date so long seems appropriate...but there are more top styles available for the short dresses. And they're in different fabrics: the short ones are stretch satin, which gives a more formal look, while the long one is in chiffon, which gives a softer, less formal look. I can also easily picture all my bridesmaids in all the available styles so that doesn't make it any easier.

But then I feel like a horrible person if I tell them that they have to wear the dress I pick out for them and that's it. I guess if I can just be patient with this as well (dammit!) and wait for the day when I can get them all together to go shopping, all my troubles will be solved.

Stupid patience.

A big step forward with the wedding

Actually I've made two big steps forward with the wedding planning: I have confirmed my bridal party and I've bought my dress!

When it came to choosing my bridal party, my maid of honour was a no-brainer: my BFF who I've known for almost 10 years (!!!), who I've worked with and lived with and consumed far too much wine in one sitting with. And I didn't so much ask her as tell her, "You know you're my maid of honour, right?"

I was then fortunate enough to have four other wonderful women agree to be beside me on my wedding day and I couldn't be happier. Both of my future sisters-in-law will be there as well as two very close friends I had the good fortune to meet through the Beau, who also happen to be fantastic women.

The Beau has started getting his groomsmen in line too, which is very exciting. I consider us a very lucky couple to have such fabulous and amazing people in our lives to not just have at our wedding but have with us at the altar. It just makes it that much more special, you know?

Oh right, and I have my dress! I was going to go to a wedding show in January and try to find a good deal on one in a cavernous room full of dresses - which, I'll admit, was a daunting thought. But David's Bridal was having a year-end sale so I thought I'd check it out, see if I could find one.

And I did!

Alas, not only was it not on sale it was a bit above my budget but it is The Dress and there was really no way I could walk away from it. It is everything I thought I'd pick out (lacy, ivory, figure-flattering without being skin-tight) and everything I didn't think I'd want (strapless, with a bit of tulle). But I love it. LOVE IT. I love it so much. And my maid of honour was there with me and she made me feel like a princess, so clearly it was the right choice.

It feels great to have these items crossed off my to-do list but I realized I face another challenge: finding a dress for these five wonderful women. It's not until you're actually doing it that you realize shopping for five women is rather strange and no small challenge. Though I've got a good idea of what I want and a few colours picked out, so I'm confident it will come together nicely.

Now to just find a day when all six of us are available...that may prove the biggest challenge yet!

WW Weigh-In #46

I weighed in yesterday, I promise! Though, once again, no change:

Last week: 189.4 lb
This week: 189.4 lb
Total gained this week: 0 lb

Weight loss target: 181.8 lb (185 lb by December 31)
To reach target: 8.4 lb (4.4 lb by December 31)

Though I did have a minor breakthrough yesterday: I got myself out of the doldrums I'd been in for the better part of two weeks. Turns out all I needed was a good workout. (Funny how that works.) And I feel much better, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

The house is slowly coming together as well, which is helping me with my stress and we're moving ahead with venues for the wedding. Slowly but surely everything is coming together.

Hopefully my weight will do the same. (Though come down, rather than come together. But you know what I mean.)