Stress is okay; bridezilla is not

When picking out linens for the reception, we decided we wanted ivory table clothes with a purple overlay. Our contact at the reception venue showed us the linens; they were ecru.

"I don't want ecru linens! I want IVORY!" I screamed at her, before throwing the table cloth in her face and storming out.

That didn't happen at all. And it won't happen for several reasons: 1) our reception venue contact is a wonderful woman and I would never scream at her; 2) I would never throw anything in anyone's face; 3) ecru and ivory are pretty much the same thing to me, regardless of what wedding dress manufacturers and paint companies will have me believe; and 4) I will not become a bridezilla.

Ever since we started seriously planning the wedding, I've been very aware of what might constitute bridezilla behaviour and I've done my best to avoid it. Sure, I've had my moments (with the centrepieces and with other small things) but mostly I've just driven the Beau nutsy. I've never vented/yelled/swore at any of our vendors or suppliers and I don't plan to. But that doesn't mean I haven't felt the need to vent or yell or cry or stomp or eat a lot of ice cream.

Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking; I didn't really realize how huge until I made my "Still To-Do" list yesterday.  I thought we were making great progress because of all the things we have done:

- date set
- ceremony and reception venues booked
- officiant confirmed
- bridal party set
- dress/veil/shoes bought
- mens' suits picked
- flowers picked (though not yet made)
- save-the-date cards mailed
- invitations picked (almost ready to order)
- hotel rooms booked
- dinner menu set
- photographer/DJ booked
- bridesmaids' gifts bought
- centrepieces decided on

I mean, that's a lot, right? But it's nothing compared to the 55 items I put on the list yesterday. And it really stressed me out, seeing all those things so carefully itemized. It was like they were taunting me, saying "Nyah nyah nyah nyah, you have to do us!" And I wanted to have a huge freak-out, just bridezilla all over the place.

But I didn't. Because I know I can handle this. I just don't understand why people would do this more than once! I also know that it's okay to feel a little stressed about things because we are planning a rather major life event.

And one of the things on my to-do list is picking linens for the reception but I know it will involve neither yelling nor throwing; it will be just fine.