WW hiatus

I have decided to take a brief hiatus from weighing in each week. I'm still part of Weight Watchers and I'm still doing my best to follow the program, but my body has been going through some weird stuff lately.

It may be from our trip to Prince Edward County and all the delicious food we ate, but I've been feeling off recently. To look at me, I don't appear to be any heavier (and have, in fact, been asked if I've lost weight and told that I look really good) but when I get on the scale the number keeps going up.

One culprit, I'm sure, is that I feel backed up, so clearly I need more fibre in my diet. But there are other things I need to change and I need to spend some time focusing on that and not worrying about what the scale will say each week.

So what's my plan? I'm still figuring it all out, but it will involve smoothies, more fruit, more fibre, regular exercise, more weightlifting all while still treating myself when I want. I also want to keep up the good habits I have, like how much water I drink, walking whenever I can, lifting weights while watching TV and eating vegetables/salads every chance I get.

I'm not doing a detox or a cleanse; rather, I see this as a reset, a way to get myself - mind, body and soul - back to a place where I'm happy and comfortable and confident. And knowing that I have to get on the scale each Wednesday has been stressing me out of late so I need to step away and focus more on myself, rather than the numbers.

But I'll still post here, even if it isn't about my weight. And I'll be back with a weigh-in on Wednesday May 22.

Cheers!

Back-tracking

Sometimes I go on my own mini eating binges. It's not like I clean out the fridge, but sometimes I just need to eat a lot of hummus and tortilla chips or ice cream or fudge. And I'm usually a little ashamed afterward and I often don't log my points that day.

But I always go back.

My points log is between me and the internet so it's not like people are going to comment on my horrible habits. And I have the extra weekly points to use and I often bank quite a few activity points, so it's okay if I eat a bit more. But most importantly, I'm only cheating myself if I don't accurately track my food.

It's really tempting to think, "Oh, it was just a piece of fudge, it doesn't matter." Thing is, it does. Other thing is, it's okay. And that is what I need to remember.

As long as I honestly track my points I'll be successful. It's really that simple. So my little binge from last night that I haven't logged yet? I'm going to do that now.

(And I'm only blushing a little.)

Three weeks in

Tomorrow is my fourth WW weigh-in but marks three full weeks that I've been on the program. So far, I've had great success, logging losses at each weigh-in. Last week I was a little nervous that a weekend of indulging would throw me off my progress, but I prevailed and still lost.

I'm not so optimistic about tomorrow.

I had another great Saturday night this past weekend and did a significant amount of damage to my points totals. As it stands tonight, I've burned through my extra 49 weekly points an dipped into my activity points, using seven of the 17 I've earned. I know this is what you're supposed to do, that it's okay to use up the points because you can't carry them over and it helps keep you from feeling deprived. Well, I certainly haven't felt deprived this week!

So I'm going into tomorrow with trepidation and I don't know what would be worse: gaining, losing or staying pat. Why would losing be bad? Because that would help emphasize that my indulging is okay, that I can do it and still lose weight. And this would be bad because it would feel like I'm reverting to old habits and that it's far too early in the program to do that. Gaining would be bad because, well, it's gaining. Staying pat would be the least bad of the three; at least I wouldn't have undone any of my progress!

I'll be honest, I'm still struggling with my food relationships. I want to eat when I'm not hungry, but because I'm bored. I'm trying to keep my fruit and veggie intake high but I'm starting to get tired of it. I also have problems listening to my body for "I'm full!" cues; I love food and I love to keep eating delicious things even when I'm more than satiated.

But it's only been three weeks and these are the things that Weight Watchers will help me with (right?). I've said before I'm not the most patient person so there's a part of me that wants to be 30 lb lighter NOW because haven't I eaten enough salad yet? I just have to keep reminding myself that I'll get there, that baby steps are where it's at, and that I'm in this with my body, not against it.

I did a bad, bad thing

Last night, I ate an entire container of Haagen Dazs rocky road ice cream.

Only 1,200 calories.  

Eep.

(But it was so delicious!)

And I don't even like marshmallows that much - but in ice cream, all melty and gooey and cold....SO GOOD.  

The Beau also ate a container on his own: cookie dough.  There is a reason we don't keep a lot of sweets and snacky food in the house and this is it.  But this isn't something we do regularly, so I'm not going to be too hard on myself.  I'm just going to eat lots and LOTS of veggies over the next few days.

But that marshmallow...

Goal:Food

Check out my new notebook:

Isn't it cute?  And it's an EcoJot one so when I bought this little guy, another one was donated to a child in need.  Win-win.

But it's not just an adorable notebook with cupcake-like owls on the front; it will also be my food journal.  I've read countless times that a big factor in successful weight loss is keeping a food journal.  I've scoffed at the idea under the premise that I can keep track of what I eat on my own, but the real reason I haven't logged my eating habits yet is because I'm scared of what will end up on the page.  It's not that my eating habits are bad, it's that they could be better.

Which is why I've started a food journal. 

GOAL:  To keep a food journal for the rest of the year to evaluate my eating habits

STATUS: Started on August 3

PLAN: Keep my journal with me at all times (or as much as I can) so I can accurately log what I eat

I'm going to use it to see not only what I eat and how much but how I feel after.  I get gurgly tummy more often than I'd like and I've wondered if I might be lactose intolerant so this will help me keep track of what dairy I eat and how I feel after.  And, after each weekly weigh-in, I can look back at what I ate over the week to see how that has influenced my weight loss (or gain). 

Why Wednesdays rock

I don't work on Wednesdays.  I know, I know, you're all jealous and stuff.  But before you get too mad at me, I'll explain why I don't work on Wednesdays.

Tuesday is when we send Maclean's to the printer.  Our printer deadline is late.  LATE.  This means I start work at noon on Tuesdays but stay until the wee hours - sometimes as late at 3:00 a.m.  Because of this, I don't go into work on Wednesdays.  My work week hour total is much the same as anyone else: 36.25 hours (7.25 hours/day).  But I regularly log 40+ hours in the four days a week I work - which is another reason I get Wednesdays off.

I'm not trying to make myself sound hard-done-by, merely explaining why I get this beautiful mid-week break.

Having Wednesdays off is kind of awesome.  I sleep in (mostly out of necessity - when I go to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning, there's no 8 am wake-up call) but I also strive to get a lot done; I really want to tackle as much housework as I can and even do the grocery shopping so my weekends get freed up.  And with free weekends, the Beau and I can spend some quality time together.

That is probably the worst part about my erratic, late-night hours: less time with my man.  We used to eat dinner together every night; now it's hit and miss, depending on when I get home, if I want a workout, how hungry he is, all these things.  To help alleviate a little of this, we come back to Wednesdays and the biggest reason they rock: I make a nice dinner and we sit down together and enjoy some "us" time.

Often, it's just chilling in front of the TV, chatting about random things, but that's the kind of stuff that makes our relationship work so well - we can completely relax with one another and just enjoy being lazy together.

Tonight I'm making pork chops with a curry-apple sauce, roasted asparagus and basmati rice.  I picked up a sample pack of beer today and we're going to have a lovely evening.

This is why Wednesdays rock.

On food and food relationships

I've been thoroughly enjoying my super salad lunches and I'm contributing some of my scale success with my healthier lunch habits.  But I also know that, sometimes, I need something other than a salad.  Case in point: last Friday, I decided to celebrate it being Friday with chicken wraps from Tim Horton's.  They're still good for me and have lots of protein and they're a lovely change from salad.

It's okay to indulge every so often (if chicken wraps can be considered an indulgence) and I'm reminded of this because of a conversation I overhead at the salad bar:

Woman #1: Look at you, salad bar queen!  You're here every day.  You must be sick of salad!  (laugh)
Woman #2: (serious) Yes, I'm getting pretty sick of it.
Woman #1: I was wondering.  I'm on my third day of spinach and strawberries and I'm already sick of them!

What a depressing relationship these women must have with food.  Yes, I know that's a broad assumption to make based on the snippet of (paraphrased) conversation listed above, but I don't think it's too far off.  If you're eating at the salad bar everyday because you want to, good on you.  If you're doing it because you feel you have to but you're hating it, then eat something else. 

Sure, the cafeteria at work doesn't exactly produce Wolfgang Puck-Oscar food, but there are enough options to make it work.  But the bigger point is that eating should be about enjoying food as much as about being healthy and giving your body what it needs. 

I know tomatoes are good for me, but man, I hate those damn things!  So I don't eat tomatoes.  I also don't like a lot of fruit and I'm hit and miss when it comes to yogurt (mostly miss).  Salmon is good, but only on occasion.  But I love me some vegetables and I'm happy to load up on them; lately I've been loving cauliflower.  (Later, I'll share with you a way to eat an entire head of cauliflower by yourself!)

I think this bad relationship with food is why so many diets fail and why programs like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig tend to be more successful.  Diets restrict food, force you to eat the same things over and over, make you feel guilty about having a Timbit; on the flip side, weight loss programs let you have a little bit of everything while teaching you how much to eat and how it will impact your body (at least this is the impression I get of them; I've never actually done one).  While I'm not participating in any weight loss program now, I am working on finding foods I like that are good for me and filling my meals with them. 

Eating should never make you miserable, whether it's eating salad every day and hating it or eating poutine every day and feeling guilty about it.  As goes the old adage, "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may die!"  Even with leaving off the dying part, it's still pretty good advice.