I am a huge fan of Mindy Kaling. I enjoyed her on The Office but I love the hell out of her on The Mindy Project. And not just because she's hilarious, but because she's hilarious about real-life stuff but also because she's got some body image hang-ups that she handles with that aforementioned humour, but also honesty, which is just awesome.
One of my favourite lines: "I' am not overweight. I fluctuate between chubby and curvy."
(More here. LOVE.)
So Mindy Kaling is awesome. And she's one of four covers of the February issue of Elle, celebrating women in television. The other cover stars are Zoeey Deschanel (also love), Amy Poehler (much love) and Allison Williams (from Girls, which I've never seen, so not sure about love).
And cue controversy.
See, Mindy is the only non-white woman to get a cover (she's Indian-American). She is also the only cover in black and white. Oh, and the only cover that is a close-up on her face and not a full body shot.
Several media outlets that have weighed in on this: Jezebel; the Globe and Mail; the Huffington Post; the Washington Post; and others that you can Google at your leisure, should you choose. There's the charge of going black and white because Mindy is Indian but most focus on her not being shown full-body, like the others, because she's a self-admitted size 8 (the horrors!) and not teensy-weensy like the other cover models.
I've been thinking a lot about this. A LOT. Probably more than I should, because I don't read Elle and I have no plans of picking up a copy. I feel like I should be angry, like I should be decrying Mindy's unfair and unequal cover treatment.
The thing is, I'm not that angry and I don't feel like being up in arms about it.
See, Elle is a fashion magazine and the fashion industry is always going to put the size 0s first, no matter what. There have been baby steps (and I mean itty-bitty wee steps) towards putting women of various sizes in fashion spreads and on the cover, but that always feels more like an industry pat-on-the-back, "we've done our part for awhile now" move. Having Mindy Kaling as a cover star is another baby step for sure, but all steps in the direction of female diversity in magazines are good.
But really, I just love the fact that Mindy Kaling is on a magazine cover because she's awesome and should be celebrated. Really, I'd have preferred if she didn't have to share with three other women, but she really is in good company so I can't complain too much about that.
And by focusing on how much of her body is shown and how the cover is in black and white takes away from what she has accomplished and what she represents as a woman in Hollywood. She's a fabulous comedienne, she's a writer, she's created her own show, she's a published author and she consistently presents a body-proud image.
In fact, I may just have to buy her cover issue so I can read about her because, let's face it, I kind of want to be her.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Monday, January 13, 2014
And then I discovered yoga
I've wanted to try yoga for awhile now but I've always been intimidated by it. Everyone who did yoga seemed much thinner than me, much more fit and active and hip and trendy and I just wouldn't fit in. So then I thought I'd do the poses you can find online or through a book, which was okay, but so many online yoga workouts are for something else, like "Yoga poses to blast belly fat!" or "Yoga poses for a perky posterior!" or "Do yoga once a week to look like Jennifer Aniston!" and it just never worked.
Then one of my lovely sisters-in-law asked if I'd like to take beginner classes with her. And I said yes. And it is awesome.
Our first class was this past weekend and it was very much a beginner class. We spent the hour-plus doing the sun salutation, some balance work and stretching. That's it. But I felt so good after (SO GOOD) and we did the sun salutation enough that I remember it so I can do it at home. Win-win!
But the best part was actually being in the class, having the instructor to demonstrate the correct positioning for the poses, to adjust when we were slightly off, to count for us when it felt like we were holding the plank for the entire class. The solo workouts and books never helped me because I really did need the class setting to get me started.
It makes me wonder what took me so long to come around to the realization that yoga classes would be good for me. Perhaps it's because I needed the right yoga buddy. Or it needed to be the right time in my life, when I had the money and time to dedicate to lessons. Or I just needed to be at a place where I didn't care if I wasn't thin or fit or hip enough.
Whether it's all or some or none of those reasons, the stars have aligned and I'm on the yoga bandwagon and I like it.
Then one of my lovely sisters-in-law asked if I'd like to take beginner classes with her. And I said yes. And it is awesome.
Our first class was this past weekend and it was very much a beginner class. We spent the hour-plus doing the sun salutation, some balance work and stretching. That's it. But I felt so good after (SO GOOD) and we did the sun salutation enough that I remember it so I can do it at home. Win-win!
But the best part was actually being in the class, having the instructor to demonstrate the correct positioning for the poses, to adjust when we were slightly off, to count for us when it felt like we were holding the plank for the entire class. The solo workouts and books never helped me because I really did need the class setting to get me started.
It makes me wonder what took me so long to come around to the realization that yoga classes would be good for me. Perhaps it's because I needed the right yoga buddy. Or it needed to be the right time in my life, when I had the money and time to dedicate to lessons. Or I just needed to be at a place where I didn't care if I wasn't thin or fit or hip enough.
Whether it's all or some or none of those reasons, the stars have aligned and I'm on the yoga bandwagon and I like it.
Monday, January 6, 2014
My 2014 reading list
I'm seriously excited to get back into books. I read quite a bit in 2013 but I don't feel like I read enough, at least not enough new books (I reread some favourites). Getting books for Christmas always makes it easier to kick off a new year with good reads, so that's what I did. I'm starting with The Demonologist by Andrew Pyper. I've read three of his other books and all have creeped me out but good, and so far The Demonologist is good and creepy.
The other books I'm looking forward to reading this year:
The Orenda by Joseph Boyden
The Antagonists by Lynn Coady
Ablutions by Patrick DeWitt
The Apartment by Greg Baxter
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton
The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison
S. by JJ Abrams & Doug Dorst
The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak
The Universe Versus Alex Woods by Gavin Extence
The first four on the list I already own, so that's another good start. And then I have to go book shopping, which is even better!
Ah, reading. I've missed you.
(I'm also going to blog about these books, because I've missed that too.)
The other books I'm looking forward to reading this year:
The Orenda by Joseph Boyden
The Antagonists by Lynn Coady
Ablutions by Patrick DeWitt
The Apartment by Greg Baxter
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt
The Luminaries by Eleanor Catton
The Silent Wife by A.S.A. Harrison
S. by JJ Abrams & Doug Dorst
The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
How the Light Gets In by Louise Penny
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak
The Universe Versus Alex Woods by Gavin Extence
The first four on the list I already own, so that's another good start. And then I have to go book shopping, which is even better!
Ah, reading. I've missed you.
(I'm also going to blog about these books, because I've missed that too.)
Happy New Year!
Well, hello there. It's been awhile, eh? It's high time I dust this thing off and start blogging regularly again.
It's also an exciting time for me to blog again because I DON'T have any major life events to contend with, so I can actually focus on myself! Huzzah!
But 2013 was still a great year, what with that wedding and all. And I can say that the Beau and I were successfully married. I'm now a Mrs! It was, simply, the best day of my life.
The holidays were their regular whirlwind of family, food and fun. But now it's done and 2014 is here and I've decided this is the year of me. The year I'm going to focus on what I want, on doing what I want to do, on putting my needs first.
This in itself will be a challenge, as I've always focused on what others want (and I don't say this in a I'm-a-martyr kind of way; more in a I'm-not-confident-enough-to-put-my-needs-first kind of way) so I've decided it's time to get better at saying and doing what I want, because the world will not end if I pick what movie we're going to watch or decide what we're having for dinner.
That said, my goals for this year are about excess, rather than cutting back. For example:
1. Eat more foods that make me feel good about myself. So more fruit and vegetables; more lean meat and steak; more smoothies, especially with spinach.
2. Run more, because it makes me feel good. I would like to get a 5K under my belt this year (I do have something else planned, but more on that shortly) but the way I feel physically and mentally when I run is more important than finishing a bunch of races. Though that would be cool too.
3. Knit more, and be more creative overall. Crafting for the wedding took up much of my creativeness last year and it was enjoyable, but now I'm looking forward to making things for the fun of it or for friends and family or even for myself (GASP!) because I want to. So I will.
4. Read more. I tend to go through phases when I can't seem to read enough but then suddenly books are dull and all I want to do are crossword puzzles and play on Twitter. This year, I've started off strong with The Demonologist and I've got quite the list for the rest of the year. And I want to start writing about what I read, too, so that will happen here.
5. Do more yoga. And by "more", I mean "any". I've signed up for four weeks of beginner classes with my sister-in-law so that's pretty exciting. They start next Saturday and I'm looking forward to being bendier.
6. Complete a triathlon. Wait, what? Yup, triathlon. It's just a wee one (375m swim, 12km bike, 3km run) so I'm confident it's something I can not only complete but enjoy doing. It's in July so I've got lots of time to train. Here's hoping Toronto thaws soon because it's hard to run on ice.
7. Be nicer to myself. This is going to be the hardest one on the list but it's something I need to do. I need to be kinder to myself, to tell myself good things, to think good things, to believe in good things. I've been seeing a counselor to help me with this; two sessions so far, with another scheduled for next week. It's been good so far and I'm hoping for more good to come out of it. It might seem weird to be seeing someone to work on self-confidence but it's something I've needed for awhile and I'm glad I'm doing it.
There are things I'm not going to worry about this year, too.
Firstly, my weight. It's something I'm always going to be aware of, for sure, but I'm not going to be obsessed with the number or with what I think I should weigh. Because if I eat right and train regularly for my triathlon, plus just run more, I'll see positive changes in my body, all without worrying about the number on the scale.
Secondly, I'm going to make a HUGE effort to not worry about the size tags on my clothes. This is going to be a big challenge, but something that I need to do for myself. If what I wear fits me well and looks good on m (and if no one else knows what size I wear), then who cares?! Right? Right.
And third, I'm going to stop stressing about how clean and organized my house is. It's a work in progress and likely will be for years and that's okay. As long as I work to keep it as neat as I can (as we can, as the hubby always helps), that is all that is needed.
It's going to be a good year, I can feel it. And with the house bought and the wedding over, it's going to be a year full of small, exciting, wonderful things and I can't wait!
It's also an exciting time for me to blog again because I DON'T have any major life events to contend with, so I can actually focus on myself! Huzzah!
But 2013 was still a great year, what with that wedding and all. And I can say that the Beau and I were successfully married. I'm now a Mrs! It was, simply, the best day of my life.
 |
| Dad walking me down the aisle |
 |
| With my family |
 |
| With my NEW family |
 |
| Outside the church |
This in itself will be a challenge, as I've always focused on what others want (and I don't say this in a I'm-a-martyr kind of way; more in a I'm-not-confident-enough-to-put-my-needs-first kind of way) so I've decided it's time to get better at saying and doing what I want, because the world will not end if I pick what movie we're going to watch or decide what we're having for dinner.
That said, my goals for this year are about excess, rather than cutting back. For example:
1. Eat more foods that make me feel good about myself. So more fruit and vegetables; more lean meat and steak; more smoothies, especially with spinach.
2. Run more, because it makes me feel good. I would like to get a 5K under my belt this year (I do have something else planned, but more on that shortly) but the way I feel physically and mentally when I run is more important than finishing a bunch of races. Though that would be cool too.
3. Knit more, and be more creative overall. Crafting for the wedding took up much of my creativeness last year and it was enjoyable, but now I'm looking forward to making things for the fun of it or for friends and family or even for myself (GASP!) because I want to. So I will.
4. Read more. I tend to go through phases when I can't seem to read enough but then suddenly books are dull and all I want to do are crossword puzzles and play on Twitter. This year, I've started off strong with The Demonologist and I've got quite the list for the rest of the year. And I want to start writing about what I read, too, so that will happen here.
5. Do more yoga. And by "more", I mean "any". I've signed up for four weeks of beginner classes with my sister-in-law so that's pretty exciting. They start next Saturday and I'm looking forward to being bendier.
6. Complete a triathlon. Wait, what? Yup, triathlon. It's just a wee one (375m swim, 12km bike, 3km run) so I'm confident it's something I can not only complete but enjoy doing. It's in July so I've got lots of time to train. Here's hoping Toronto thaws soon because it's hard to run on ice.
7. Be nicer to myself. This is going to be the hardest one on the list but it's something I need to do. I need to be kinder to myself, to tell myself good things, to think good things, to believe in good things. I've been seeing a counselor to help me with this; two sessions so far, with another scheduled for next week. It's been good so far and I'm hoping for more good to come out of it. It might seem weird to be seeing someone to work on self-confidence but it's something I've needed for awhile and I'm glad I'm doing it.
There are things I'm not going to worry about this year, too.
Firstly, my weight. It's something I'm always going to be aware of, for sure, but I'm not going to be obsessed with the number or with what I think I should weigh. Because if I eat right and train regularly for my triathlon, plus just run more, I'll see positive changes in my body, all without worrying about the number on the scale.
Secondly, I'm going to make a HUGE effort to not worry about the size tags on my clothes. This is going to be a big challenge, but something that I need to do for myself. If what I wear fits me well and looks good on m (and if no one else knows what size I wear), then who cares?! Right? Right.
And third, I'm going to stop stressing about how clean and organized my house is. It's a work in progress and likely will be for years and that's okay. As long as I work to keep it as neat as I can (as we can, as the hubby always helps), that is all that is needed.
It's going to be a good year, I can feel it. And with the house bought and the wedding over, it's going to be a year full of small, exciting, wonderful things and I can't wait!
Friday, October 11, 2013
After the wedding, the marriage
When I was 19, I worked at a self-serve gas station, spending 8-hours shifts solo tucked away in the convenience store part of the station. On slow days, I would read the magazines on offer and, after exhausting the selection of tabloids, would flip through the bridal magazines. In one of these magazines I found the wedding dress of my dreams and very carefully used an X-acto knife to cut out the page. I hung on to that page for years and it might still be kicking around at my mom's house. While I still think the dress is beautiful, it looks nothing like the dress I chose for my upcoming wedding.
Even though I picked out that dress 14 years ago, I never had any other wedding fantasies or daydreams. I never picked out colours or planned the kind of fairy-tale setting I wanted to celebrate my nuptials. I also went through a phase where I wasn't going to get married, but that quickly passed. Despite this, I was teased a bit by good friends when, upon receiving my engagement ring, I quickly set out to plan my wedding.
The thing is, it wasn't some vision I was setting out to fulfill. Rather, because I wasn't allowed to elope, and because I'm a planner, I immediately began putting together the non-eloping wedding that would satisfy us as a couple and allow us to celebrate with friends and family.
Even now, four weeks away from my wedding, I'm more excited about the days that will come after November 9. Our wedding day will be wonderful and magical and beautiful and perfect and it will be a fantastic celebration, but I'm most excited about the marriage that I'm getting out of it. I'll be honest, it's the marriage that I want the most.
We bought our wedding bands last weekend and, while wearing his, the Beau casually said, "I can't wait to wear this everyday." Of course I almost lost it. But this also helped emphasize the importance of the life we are building together and the days and months and years we will spend and husband and wife. And it's just going to mean so much to be that wife, to be part of the marriage, to experience every day something that we'll grow and build and work on and cultivate into something even more beautiful than the day before.
I'm still ecstatic for the wedding day that we have planned and for all the work we and our wedding party and family have put into making it so special and unforgettable. And the wedding will, of course, serve as a wonderful starting point for the marriage that comes after.
I am a little scared that I'll suck at being a wife, but I think that just comes with the territory of embarking on a new thing. (Though we've been living together for almost four years so really I've been a wife that long; on November 9 it will become official.) But I'm not scared of the commitment or of the work or anything else that a marriage will throw my way. Bring it. It's what I want most of all.
Even though I picked out that dress 14 years ago, I never had any other wedding fantasies or daydreams. I never picked out colours or planned the kind of fairy-tale setting I wanted to celebrate my nuptials. I also went through a phase where I wasn't going to get married, but that quickly passed. Despite this, I was teased a bit by good friends when, upon receiving my engagement ring, I quickly set out to plan my wedding.
The thing is, it wasn't some vision I was setting out to fulfill. Rather, because I wasn't allowed to elope, and because I'm a planner, I immediately began putting together the non-eloping wedding that would satisfy us as a couple and allow us to celebrate with friends and family.
Even now, four weeks away from my wedding, I'm more excited about the days that will come after November 9. Our wedding day will be wonderful and magical and beautiful and perfect and it will be a fantastic celebration, but I'm most excited about the marriage that I'm getting out of it. I'll be honest, it's the marriage that I want the most.
We bought our wedding bands last weekend and, while wearing his, the Beau casually said, "I can't wait to wear this everyday." Of course I almost lost it. But this also helped emphasize the importance of the life we are building together and the days and months and years we will spend and husband and wife. And it's just going to mean so much to be that wife, to be part of the marriage, to experience every day something that we'll grow and build and work on and cultivate into something even more beautiful than the day before.
I'm still ecstatic for the wedding day that we have planned and for all the work we and our wedding party and family have put into making it so special and unforgettable. And the wedding will, of course, serve as a wonderful starting point for the marriage that comes after.
I am a little scared that I'll suck at being a wife, but I think that just comes with the territory of embarking on a new thing. (Though we've been living together for almost four years so really I've been a wife that long; on November 9 it will become official.) But I'm not scared of the commitment or of the work or anything else that a marriage will throw my way. Bring it. It's what I want most of all.
Monday, September 23, 2013
My body's nobody's body but mine
Yesterday, I attended a bridal shower for my cousin's lovely bride-to-be and while chatting with my aunts the conversation naturally turned to my upcoming nuptials. One aunt commented on how my mom had said she had lost 17 pounds and then asked how Mom had done it. I said Mom was just being more aware of what she was eating and then cracked a joke about how Mom was more concerned with losing weight before my wedding than I was.
But the thing is, it's not really a joke. I'm not stressed or panicked about losing weight for the wedding.
I had a dress fitting a few weeks ago and that was a little stressing but I wasn't wearing the proper undergarments and the bridal shop didn't have bras that went beyond a D-cup (and I'm beyond a D-cup...sigh), so while the dress fit it didn't look perfect, you know? But I'm going back on Wednesday, armed with all my undergarments, and I'm convinced it will look perfect. And I haven't lost any weight since buying the dress.
I don't even know when I stopped worrying about that. It might have been when more important things - seating charts and making favours and meeting with our officiant and planning the ceremony and finalizing the reception set-up - came up. It might have been when the Beau had chest pains and was later diagnosed with periocarditis and body image was the last thing on my mind. It might have been when I started spending more time on xoJane, an any-body-positive (among other things) website. It may have even been when I did some shopping and found a bunch of things that fit at a size I could handle.
Or it may have just been that I'm really getting tired of hating on myself. Like, just fed up and done with it. Because, honestly, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to be constantly down and degrading towards myself and there are so many more things in life that are much more deserving of that energy.
Also, acceptance, which is hella major too. Being on Weight Watchers let me prove to myself that I can lose weight, but I have to track everything I eat, measure all my portions, plan ahead as necessary and get on a scale each week to make sure I'm doing it all properly. This did help make me more aware of what I put in my body, which is a good awareness to have, but the little things started to weigh on me and really sucked the fun out of living (at least for me; I don't want to take away from the success that others have had with the program).
So I know I can lose weight and I know I can gain it all back and now I know that this body, the one I'm currently in, the one I'll be getting married in, that the way this body is now could be the way my body just is. This me is the me, where I'm happiest, at least physically. And by accepting this physical happiness maybe I can move to mental and emotional happiness with myself.
Of course, I'm not about to eat pizza and chocolate cake for every meal. I'm still going to run (currently nursing a sore calf - boo!) and do strength training (three sets of 10 FULL push-ups are now a regular thing for me - hurrah!) and be aware of what I'm eating. It's not dieting or trying to lose weight; rather, it's doing the things for my body that will help my body do things for me. Eating well and being active will give me the energy I need to run 5K and plan a wedding and help keep the house tidy and go out for friends' birthdays and dance at my wedding and chase after my nephews and all the other things that make life good. And my good life will include wine and too many fun-sized chocolate bars and pizza and chocolate cake because these things make me happy.
Now this isn't just some epiphany that will last forever. Body acceptance and body love will still take work, every single day. But it's about starting with good thoughts ("I look good in this dress") rather than bad ("This dress makes me look fat. I can't ever wear it again.") and embodying those good thoughts, acting like I look good (but not being arrogant because that sucks) and believing that I deserve to feel good about myself. And that leads to happiness and, really, isn't being happy what it's all about?
But the thing is, it's not really a joke. I'm not stressed or panicked about losing weight for the wedding.
I had a dress fitting a few weeks ago and that was a little stressing but I wasn't wearing the proper undergarments and the bridal shop didn't have bras that went beyond a D-cup (and I'm beyond a D-cup...sigh), so while the dress fit it didn't look perfect, you know? But I'm going back on Wednesday, armed with all my undergarments, and I'm convinced it will look perfect. And I haven't lost any weight since buying the dress.
I don't even know when I stopped worrying about that. It might have been when more important things - seating charts and making favours and meeting with our officiant and planning the ceremony and finalizing the reception set-up - came up. It might have been when the Beau had chest pains and was later diagnosed with periocarditis and body image was the last thing on my mind. It might have been when I started spending more time on xoJane, an any-body-positive (among other things) website. It may have even been when I did some shopping and found a bunch of things that fit at a size I could handle.
Or it may have just been that I'm really getting tired of hating on myself. Like, just fed up and done with it. Because, honestly, it takes a hell of a lot of energy to be constantly down and degrading towards myself and there are so many more things in life that are much more deserving of that energy.
Also, acceptance, which is hella major too. Being on Weight Watchers let me prove to myself that I can lose weight, but I have to track everything I eat, measure all my portions, plan ahead as necessary and get on a scale each week to make sure I'm doing it all properly. This did help make me more aware of what I put in my body, which is a good awareness to have, but the little things started to weigh on me and really sucked the fun out of living (at least for me; I don't want to take away from the success that others have had with the program).
So I know I can lose weight and I know I can gain it all back and now I know that this body, the one I'm currently in, the one I'll be getting married in, that the way this body is now could be the way my body just is. This me is the me, where I'm happiest, at least physically. And by accepting this physical happiness maybe I can move to mental and emotional happiness with myself.
Of course, I'm not about to eat pizza and chocolate cake for every meal. I'm still going to run (currently nursing a sore calf - boo!) and do strength training (three sets of 10 FULL push-ups are now a regular thing for me - hurrah!) and be aware of what I'm eating. It's not dieting or trying to lose weight; rather, it's doing the things for my body that will help my body do things for me. Eating well and being active will give me the energy I need to run 5K and plan a wedding and help keep the house tidy and go out for friends' birthdays and dance at my wedding and chase after my nephews and all the other things that make life good. And my good life will include wine and too many fun-sized chocolate bars and pizza and chocolate cake because these things make me happy.
Now this isn't just some epiphany that will last forever. Body acceptance and body love will still take work, every single day. But it's about starting with good thoughts ("I look good in this dress") rather than bad ("This dress makes me look fat. I can't ever wear it again.") and embodying those good thoughts, acting like I look good (but not being arrogant because that sucks) and believing that I deserve to feel good about myself. And that leads to happiness and, really, isn't being happy what it's all about?
Monday, August 26, 2013
About that wedding...
Holy snowcakes, the wedding is fast approaching.
I don't have my countdown calendar in front of me (it's proudly displayed at home) but I think we're down to 75 days, or thereabouts. And it's pretty exciting.
I booked my final vendor on Friday and it FELT SO GOOD! It was a salon for hair and makeup services and, let me tell you, it was getting a bit stressful - though a lot of that was self-induced stress because I was lazy about researching a vendor. But it all came together and hair and makeup will only take two hours for the nine women being dolled up.
So what does that leave, you may ask?
Well...
Favours. Seating chart. Place cards (will likely be attached to the favours). Table numbers. Hair and makeup trial. Dress alterations. Picking cocktail reception and dinner music. Visiting the church (because we haven't actually been there yet). Rehearsal dinner plans. Cupcake tasting. Finalizing the menu. Engagement photo shoot (maybe...likely...hopefully). Bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bridal shower. Finalizing the floor plan for the reception. Picking someone to do a reading. Finalizing the day-of schedule.
But everything is in progress and, dare I say it, right on schedule. Overall, this wedding has been pretty easy to pull together. Sure, I've had my meltdowns, because of centrepieces and over the invitations, but it's all been minor issues that were easily fixed.
I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty good about the whole shebang.
Oh, I should also share some pictures of my wedding stuff, like the flowers and my shoes and the guestbook and my veil, because it's all awesome.
I don't have my countdown calendar in front of me (it's proudly displayed at home) but I think we're down to 75 days, or thereabouts. And it's pretty exciting.
I booked my final vendor on Friday and it FELT SO GOOD! It was a salon for hair and makeup services and, let me tell you, it was getting a bit stressful - though a lot of that was self-induced stress because I was lazy about researching a vendor. But it all came together and hair and makeup will only take two hours for the nine women being dolled up.
So what does that leave, you may ask?
Well...
Favours. Seating chart. Place cards (will likely be attached to the favours). Table numbers. Hair and makeup trial. Dress alterations. Picking cocktail reception and dinner music. Visiting the church (because we haven't actually been there yet). Rehearsal dinner plans. Cupcake tasting. Finalizing the menu. Engagement photo shoot (maybe...likely...hopefully). Bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bridal shower. Finalizing the floor plan for the reception. Picking someone to do a reading. Finalizing the day-of schedule.
But everything is in progress and, dare I say it, right on schedule. Overall, this wedding has been pretty easy to pull together. Sure, I've had my meltdowns, because of centrepieces and over the invitations, but it's all been minor issues that were easily fixed.
I gotta say, I'm feeling pretty good about the whole shebang.
Oh, I should also share some pictures of my wedding stuff, like the flowers and my shoes and the guestbook and my veil, because it's all awesome.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Measurements
Wow, it's been awhile since I've been here. That's really only because nothing new or exciting has been happening; even with the wedding coming up, summer has been pretty relaxed. I'm still running (though I've fallen off my schedule the last couple of weeks - back on it today!) and the wedding plans are coming along but it's all the little things now that, frankly, aren't that thrilling to talk about.
So life has been going on and I've been doing some shopping - because that's what I do - and I have realized that I need to get new bras desperately bad.
I've been meaning to go into a specialty lingerie store and get properly measured, but until I find the time for that, I did some measurements at home. Now, armed with a better idea of what my bra size actually is, I'm excited to go shopping again and to try on sizes that will actually fit!
While I had the tape measure out, I got bold and decided to do my hips. I'm not quite confident enough to share the numbers, but I wasn't completely horrified by my hip measurement, which was pleasantly surprising.
Then I measured my waist.
No way I'm sharing that number; it stung more than a little.
HOWEVER -
Armed with a hip measurement and a waist measurement I was able to calculate waist-hip ratio and see what that number meant in terms of my health. A higher waist-hip ratio can mean you have a higher risk for health problems like heart disease and type-II diabetes. So I plugged my measurements into a calculator and braced for the answer.
To my shock and surprise, my ratio puts me at LOW RISK! LOW RISK! I honestly thought that I had a higher risk - and this number doesn't take my family history of type-II diabetes into consideration - but based on my body composition, I'm okay.
The waist-hip ratio calculator had a link to a body fat calculator as well, so I figured in for a penny, in for a pound (ha!) and plugged in the numbers I needed to get my body fat percentage.
Again, shock and surprise at the outcome: I'm acceptable. Sure, it's not in the athletic range or high performance or anything, but still - I'M ACCEPTABLE! Again, I was expecting to be in the obese range so suddenly I'm feeling okay about myself.
Yes, I'd still like to slim down. Yes, I'm a little anxious over the fact that I haven't lost more weight before the wedding. Yes, I'm still freaking out about my double chin for my wedding photos.
But these numbers have definitely made me feel better about myself and have told me that I'm acceptable, just the way I am.
So life has been going on and I've been doing some shopping - because that's what I do - and I have realized that I need to get new bras desperately bad.
I've been meaning to go into a specialty lingerie store and get properly measured, but until I find the time for that, I did some measurements at home. Now, armed with a better idea of what my bra size actually is, I'm excited to go shopping again and to try on sizes that will actually fit!
While I had the tape measure out, I got bold and decided to do my hips. I'm not quite confident enough to share the numbers, but I wasn't completely horrified by my hip measurement, which was pleasantly surprising.
Then I measured my waist.
No way I'm sharing that number; it stung more than a little.
HOWEVER -
Armed with a hip measurement and a waist measurement I was able to calculate waist-hip ratio and see what that number meant in terms of my health. A higher waist-hip ratio can mean you have a higher risk for health problems like heart disease and type-II diabetes. So I plugged my measurements into a calculator and braced for the answer.
To my shock and surprise, my ratio puts me at LOW RISK! LOW RISK! I honestly thought that I had a higher risk - and this number doesn't take my family history of type-II diabetes into consideration - but based on my body composition, I'm okay.
The waist-hip ratio calculator had a link to a body fat calculator as well, so I figured in for a penny, in for a pound (ha!) and plugged in the numbers I needed to get my body fat percentage.
Again, shock and surprise at the outcome: I'm acceptable. Sure, it's not in the athletic range or high performance or anything, but still - I'M ACCEPTABLE! Again, I was expecting to be in the obese range so suddenly I'm feeling okay about myself.
Yes, I'd still like to slim down. Yes, I'm a little anxious over the fact that I haven't lost more weight before the wedding. Yes, I'm still freaking out about my double chin for my wedding photos.
But these numbers have definitely made me feel better about myself and have told me that I'm acceptable, just the way I am.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
My body battle
Whoa, it's been awhile since I've been on here. Oops. No reason,
really, except things have been pretty busy but also pretty much the
same, so nothing really new to write about.
I'm still running and that's still going well; I should have no problem with my 5K run in September. And I think I'm starting to see the changes - however small - that regular running can make on a body. I've actually started looking at my body and thinking, "I look okay." rather than thinking, "Ugh."
But I'm also going through a body battle between what I see in the mirror and how my clothes fit (and what the scale is saying to me, the odd time I jump on it).
I was sorting through my clothes the other day, making a pile for donation, when I came across a pair of knee-length shorts that I hadn't pulled out yet this summer. I've had them for a few years but they're still holding up so I thought that I'd get one more season out of them - except they don't fit. Realizing this caused me to cry for about half an hour. (Seriously.) I got over it but I still feel bad about myself because of this. The other weird thing, though, is that other things that fit me at the beginning of the summer are now too big for me; one pair of shorts I bought two months ago are so baggy that you could pull them off me while they're still buttoned up.
And it's all very annoying and discouraging because I don't know what will fit me from day to day nor do I know if I should feel good about myself and how my body is changing because of my running or if I should feel bad about myself because I'm clearly gaining too much weight and need to stop.
I know that most people would just go with the "feel good about myself" plan, but I'm not most people and my brain just can't seem to work that way. And, of course, the wedding countdown is on (just over three months to go!) so I feel extra terrible for not being thinner than I am. But I also feel strong and proud for regularly running 5 kilometres at a time.
Really, I just don't know what cues I should be looking for in my battle with my body. Or maybe I'm just not fully accepting that I'm bigger than I ever should be and need to start some hardcore dieting STAT.
I honestly just don't know.
I'm still running and that's still going well; I should have no problem with my 5K run in September. And I think I'm starting to see the changes - however small - that regular running can make on a body. I've actually started looking at my body and thinking, "I look okay." rather than thinking, "Ugh."
But I'm also going through a body battle between what I see in the mirror and how my clothes fit (and what the scale is saying to me, the odd time I jump on it).
I was sorting through my clothes the other day, making a pile for donation, when I came across a pair of knee-length shorts that I hadn't pulled out yet this summer. I've had them for a few years but they're still holding up so I thought that I'd get one more season out of them - except they don't fit. Realizing this caused me to cry for about half an hour. (Seriously.) I got over it but I still feel bad about myself because of this. The other weird thing, though, is that other things that fit me at the beginning of the summer are now too big for me; one pair of shorts I bought two months ago are so baggy that you could pull them off me while they're still buttoned up.
And it's all very annoying and discouraging because I don't know what will fit me from day to day nor do I know if I should feel good about myself and how my body is changing because of my running or if I should feel bad about myself because I'm clearly gaining too much weight and need to stop.
I know that most people would just go with the "feel good about myself" plan, but I'm not most people and my brain just can't seem to work that way. And, of course, the wedding countdown is on (just over three months to go!) so I feel extra terrible for not being thinner than I am. But I also feel strong and proud for regularly running 5 kilometres at a time.
Really, I just don't know what cues I should be looking for in my battle with my body. Or maybe I'm just not fully accepting that I'm bigger than I ever should be and need to start some hardcore dieting STAT.
I honestly just don't know.
Monday, July 8, 2013
And then I ran five kilometres
This past week marked the final week of my Couch to 5K training program and they were all big runs - at least that's how they felt to me when I looked at the amount of time I was supposed to spend running.
In the previous week I had pushed myself a couple of times and ran through the 5-minute cool down, which boosted my overall running time to 30 minutes. And I was pretty proud of this but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke, that I could actually do that more than once. So with those last three C25K runs (2 x 28 minutes, 1 x 30 minutes) I was cautiously optimistic of my success but also aware that it may not work out after all.
Turns out I needn't have worried.
The first 28-minute run I stuck to the 28 minutes and was almost able to do it; I hit 20 minutes and needed a quick walking break, so after a minute of catching my breath I ran the remaining 7 minutes. It was a bit discouraging but setbacks are to be expected, right?
The second 28-minute run went much better though; I was able to push through the extra 5 minutes at the end and top out at 33 minutes of running. I also turned on my RunKeeper app to track distance - and I clocked in at 4.9km! While I was a bit disappointed that I didn't hit 5km, I was also completely surprised that I'd even made it that far. Woot!
Then last night was the final run of the program, 30 minutes. Again I set RunKeeper to track my distance and suddenly I found myself running...and running...and running...until I'd topped out at 6km.
SIX FREAKING KILOMETRES!
Given, 0.7km of that distance was my walking warmup but still - I managed to hit 5km!
I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of myself. When I first started the program and had to do some of the first long runs (you know, 5 and 8 minutes) they were HARD. And there were times when I was pretty sure I couldn't do it and that I should just forget it and find another activity. I'm not really sure why I kept going; maybe deep down I was actually enjoying running (and now I can admit that I do enjoy running). Whatever the reason, I'm glad I kept at it. And the humidity has also helped, which is pretty much the only thing I like about the humidity. The warmer air helps make breathing easier for me. It will be interesting to see how the cooler air of fall affects me but I'm hoping I can ride the wave of summer running success into the fall and overcome any obstacles.
Overall I'm ridiculously pleased with myself and I have no problem bragging just a little!
In the previous week I had pushed myself a couple of times and ran through the 5-minute cool down, which boosted my overall running time to 30 minutes. And I was pretty proud of this but I wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke, that I could actually do that more than once. So with those last three C25K runs (2 x 28 minutes, 1 x 30 minutes) I was cautiously optimistic of my success but also aware that it may not work out after all.
Turns out I needn't have worried.
The first 28-minute run I stuck to the 28 minutes and was almost able to do it; I hit 20 minutes and needed a quick walking break, so after a minute of catching my breath I ran the remaining 7 minutes. It was a bit discouraging but setbacks are to be expected, right?
The second 28-minute run went much better though; I was able to push through the extra 5 minutes at the end and top out at 33 minutes of running. I also turned on my RunKeeper app to track distance - and I clocked in at 4.9km! While I was a bit disappointed that I didn't hit 5km, I was also completely surprised that I'd even made it that far. Woot!
Then last night was the final run of the program, 30 minutes. Again I set RunKeeper to track my distance and suddenly I found myself running...and running...and running...until I'd topped out at 6km.
SIX FREAKING KILOMETRES!
Given, 0.7km of that distance was my walking warmup but still - I managed to hit 5km!
I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of myself. When I first started the program and had to do some of the first long runs (you know, 5 and 8 minutes) they were HARD. And there were times when I was pretty sure I couldn't do it and that I should just forget it and find another activity. I'm not really sure why I kept going; maybe deep down I was actually enjoying running (and now I can admit that I do enjoy running). Whatever the reason, I'm glad I kept at it. And the humidity has also helped, which is pretty much the only thing I like about the humidity. The warmer air helps make breathing easier for me. It will be interesting to see how the cooler air of fall affects me but I'm hoping I can ride the wave of summer running success into the fall and overcome any obstacles.
Overall I'm ridiculously pleased with myself and I have no problem bragging just a little!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
That song and that dance
For Cat Stevens (and Rod Stewart and Sheryl Crow) the first cut is the deepest. But for a just-married couple, the first dance is the sweetest!
(Ugh, that blog opening is terrible. It's also hilariously cheesy so I'm leaving it.)
The wedding plans are coming along really well and we're trying to focus on the things that will be important to the day but also will be the main things we take away from the day as a couple. The wedding rings are a big one and we haven't made any decisions on those yet. Photos are huge but we're very happy with our photographer and we're confident there will be photos that our family and friends think are amazing and beautiful and that we'll tolerate (we both HATE having our pictures taken).
Another big one for us is our first dance song. While guests may not remember months or years later what we danced to, we sure will and that song will be representative of us as a couple for the rest of our marriage. Needless to say, a lot of thought has gone into picking that first song.
The main obstacle with finding that song comes from our taste in music. Being teenagers in the 90s, the Beau and I came of age and grew up listening to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Joy Division, Garbage and the rest of the grunge scene. We're also both big fans of 80s music, which will help make our reception ultra danceable, but there are few (if any) songs in our preferred playlists that fit the requirements of a first dance song.
Of course, there are SO MANY songs out there that are great for a first dance. If you're a Whitney Houston or Shania Twain fan, you're golden. If you're into the classics, like Louis Armstrong, Etta James or Nat King Cole, there are lots of great choices. And if you're a country music fan, the world is your first-dance oyster.
But what happens if you're like us and every discussion of the first dance song devolves into, "What about 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division?" (Seriously. Every time. And the joke has yet to get old.)
A quick online search provides many, many lists of the best first dance songs though it's clear the authors of some of these lists haven't listened to their song choices. If they had, they would know Every Breath You Take by The Police is all kinds of stalkery and voyeuristic; that Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler is all about no longer being in love; that All I Ask of You from The Phantom of the Opera is incredibly beautiful and full of a love triangle and the unrequited love the Phantom has for Christine; and that Here Without You by 3 Doors Down is completely angsty and not at all about love and marriage and being together.
We have managed to cobble together the beginning of a shortlist and there are a couple solid contenders but we're both very focused on finding a song that we both love; that is by an artist or band we both love (or at least enjoy/respect); and isn't full of lyrics about infidelity or depression or political activism or dark erotic imagery. (While I can't think of examples that fit those descriptors, we have encountered songs that seem great at first until the lyrics reveal their true nature.) We're also running into a tempo problem, where quite a few songs that have lovely lyrics and melodies are just a bit too upbeat for a first dance. And we're discovering that we both really like depressing music.
So what will that magical first song be? I guess you'll have to wait until November 9.
(Ugh, that blog opening is terrible. It's also hilariously cheesy so I'm leaving it.)
The wedding plans are coming along really well and we're trying to focus on the things that will be important to the day but also will be the main things we take away from the day as a couple. The wedding rings are a big one and we haven't made any decisions on those yet. Photos are huge but we're very happy with our photographer and we're confident there will be photos that our family and friends think are amazing and beautiful and that we'll tolerate (we both HATE having our pictures taken).
Another big one for us is our first dance song. While guests may not remember months or years later what we danced to, we sure will and that song will be representative of us as a couple for the rest of our marriage. Needless to say, a lot of thought has gone into picking that first song.
The main obstacle with finding that song comes from our taste in music. Being teenagers in the 90s, the Beau and I came of age and grew up listening to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Joy Division, Garbage and the rest of the grunge scene. We're also both big fans of 80s music, which will help make our reception ultra danceable, but there are few (if any) songs in our preferred playlists that fit the requirements of a first dance song.
Of course, there are SO MANY songs out there that are great for a first dance. If you're a Whitney Houston or Shania Twain fan, you're golden. If you're into the classics, like Louis Armstrong, Etta James or Nat King Cole, there are lots of great choices. And if you're a country music fan, the world is your first-dance oyster.
But what happens if you're like us and every discussion of the first dance song devolves into, "What about 'Love Will Tear Us Apart' by Joy Division?" (Seriously. Every time. And the joke has yet to get old.)
A quick online search provides many, many lists of the best first dance songs though it's clear the authors of some of these lists haven't listened to their song choices. If they had, they would know Every Breath You Take by The Police is all kinds of stalkery and voyeuristic; that Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler is all about no longer being in love; that All I Ask of You from The Phantom of the Opera is incredibly beautiful and full of a love triangle and the unrequited love the Phantom has for Christine; and that Here Without You by 3 Doors Down is completely angsty and not at all about love and marriage and being together.
We have managed to cobble together the beginning of a shortlist and there are a couple solid contenders but we're both very focused on finding a song that we both love; that is by an artist or band we both love (or at least enjoy/respect); and isn't full of lyrics about infidelity or depression or political activism or dark erotic imagery. (While I can't think of examples that fit those descriptors, we have encountered songs that seem great at first until the lyrics reveal their true nature.) We're also running into a tempo problem, where quite a few songs that have lovely lyrics and melodies are just a bit too upbeat for a first dance. And we're discovering that we both really like depressing music.
So what will that magical first song be? I guess you'll have to wait until November 9.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Hot run in the summertime
Toronto summer arrived with full force yesterday. As someone who hates extreme heat I consider myself lucky that the intense humidity didn't arrive until June 23. But arrive it did and since it was hotter than a cave troll's temper and stinkier than an orc's breath, it was a day best spent inside watching The Hobbit and Arrested Development.
It was also the perfect day to catch up on laundry since fabric could hang outside without spontaneously sweating through everything. But around 6:45 pm our neighbour knocked on our back door to alert us to the start of the rain. The laundry made it in but the forecast said there'd be thunderstorms by 8pm. I wanted to run but was waiting for the sun to set, meaning the temperature would drop by half a degree. But with the threat of rain I made the executive decision: I would go running right then.
And I did. And it was hot. And sticky. And hot. And humid. And HOT.
But I made it. It was another 25-minute run and I made it through all 25 burning minutes. And I'm happy to say that the first 18 minutes were easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. Actually, it wasn't until about 22 minutes that it really started to hurt and not just from the heat. Even with the last three minutes full of pain I kept going and it was awesome. (Well, eventually it was awesome. When I was done I was done.)
And because the rain held off, the Beau was able to barbeque. It's just so nice to come home from a steamy run to find burgers on the grill, eagerly awaiting cheddar cheese and anticipating being topped with carmelized onions and BBQ sauce.
Om nom nom!
It was also the perfect day to catch up on laundry since fabric could hang outside without spontaneously sweating through everything. But around 6:45 pm our neighbour knocked on our back door to alert us to the start of the rain. The laundry made it in but the forecast said there'd be thunderstorms by 8pm. I wanted to run but was waiting for the sun to set, meaning the temperature would drop by half a degree. But with the threat of rain I made the executive decision: I would go running right then.
And I did. And it was hot. And sticky. And hot. And humid. And HOT.
But I made it. It was another 25-minute run and I made it through all 25 burning minutes. And I'm happy to say that the first 18 minutes were easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. Actually, it wasn't until about 22 minutes that it really started to hurt and not just from the heat. Even with the last three minutes full of pain I kept going and it was awesome. (Well, eventually it was awesome. When I was done I was done.)
And because the rain held off, the Beau was able to barbeque. It's just so nice to come home from a steamy run to find burgers on the grill, eagerly awaiting cheddar cheese and anticipating being topped with carmelized onions and BBQ sauce.
Om nom nom!
 |
| I don't always grill burgers, but when I do I grill the best burgers. |
Friday, June 21, 2013
Jealousy, part II
Jealousy is an ugly thing that will eat away at you, even if you know it's there, even if you try to ignore it, even if you think you've succeeded at ignoring it.
I'm sure it can be overcome and properly defeated, I just haven't got there yet.
I don't really know how or when or even why my own bout of jealousy started. Sure, I've struggled with various types of envy most of my life, particularly when it comes to my body, but those have been intense bursts of "Why don't I look like that?!" followed by a cooling-down period and then all is forgotten. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but at least my envy has been manageable and I've been able to (mostly) realize it's silly to be envious and that my energy is better spent making myself happy rather than fixating on the perceived happiness of others.
Yet, despite this awareness, I found myself completely, totally and horribly consumed by jealousy of one of the Beau's ex-girlfriends.
The odd thing is that this jealousy has only reared its ugly head in the last six months or so - meaning after almost four years of dating, after buying a house together AND after getting engaged, I became jealous of an ex-girlfriend. Oh, and it should be noted that the Beau and this particular ex ended their relationship back in 2005 - so roughly four years before he and I even started dating. They have worked at reestablishing a friendship, so they are still in touch, but it's strictly platonic now.
So what gives?
I don't even know. I don't know why it happened now. I don't know why it happened towards her. I don't know why it's become so all-encompassing. I don't know why it's reduced me to tears on more than one occasion.
What's a girl to do?
After having it bother me for a few weeks, I did a very difficult thing: I talked to the Beau about it. At first I didn't want to bring it up with him because I felt that actually putting my feelings into words would make it more real, give it more power over me; I thought that if I just battled it out in my head, I'd win.
I didn't win.
So I sucked it up and told him. I told him who I was jealous of and that it was gnawing away at me and making me scared and insecure and I hated it, but it was still there. I told him I didn't know why it was happening or where it was coming from, but that it existed and that I couldn't beat it alone. I also asked him some awful questions, like if he felt he was settling by marrying me and if he wished he'd proposed to her instead of me (his answers to both questions was an unequivocal and very decided NO). I told him I didn't know how to make it go away and that it was going to be there for the foreseeable future and that I couldn't promise it wouldn't spill over again.
His response? Hugs. Kisses. Gentle back rubbing. And the reassurance that he loved me, that I am the right person for him, that he doesn't know what to do for me but that he'll always be there for me, that he'll help me now and forever. But the most important part of his response was listening to me, not getting angry with me and not judging me.
Talking with him definitely helped but it hasn't made the jealous feelings go away completely and, honestly, I don't know if they ever will. I hope they do, but until then, the best thing I can do is to keep talking to the Beau about it and making sure he knows when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable to those feelings.
Because that's what jealousy does: it makes you feel bad about things but it also festers and if you don't talk about it, if you don't recognize it for what it is, it will continue to spread and before you know it you're fighting with the person you love about who's turn it was to empty the dishwasher and then you're sleeping in separate beds or worse separate homes, for good. And I never want that to happen.
I do plan on beating this jealousy thing though. I just don't expect it to be easy.
I'm sure it can be overcome and properly defeated, I just haven't got there yet.
I don't really know how or when or even why my own bout of jealousy started. Sure, I've struggled with various types of envy most of my life, particularly when it comes to my body, but those have been intense bursts of "Why don't I look like that?!" followed by a cooling-down period and then all is forgotten. I'm not saying it's a good thing, but at least my envy has been manageable and I've been able to (mostly) realize it's silly to be envious and that my energy is better spent making myself happy rather than fixating on the perceived happiness of others.
Yet, despite this awareness, I found myself completely, totally and horribly consumed by jealousy of one of the Beau's ex-girlfriends.
The odd thing is that this jealousy has only reared its ugly head in the last six months or so - meaning after almost four years of dating, after buying a house together AND after getting engaged, I became jealous of an ex-girlfriend. Oh, and it should be noted that the Beau and this particular ex ended their relationship back in 2005 - so roughly four years before he and I even started dating. They have worked at reestablishing a friendship, so they are still in touch, but it's strictly platonic now.
So what gives?
I don't even know. I don't know why it happened now. I don't know why it happened towards her. I don't know why it's become so all-encompassing. I don't know why it's reduced me to tears on more than one occasion.
What's a girl to do?
After having it bother me for a few weeks, I did a very difficult thing: I talked to the Beau about it. At first I didn't want to bring it up with him because I felt that actually putting my feelings into words would make it more real, give it more power over me; I thought that if I just battled it out in my head, I'd win.
I didn't win.
So I sucked it up and told him. I told him who I was jealous of and that it was gnawing away at me and making me scared and insecure and I hated it, but it was still there. I told him I didn't know why it was happening or where it was coming from, but that it existed and that I couldn't beat it alone. I also asked him some awful questions, like if he felt he was settling by marrying me and if he wished he'd proposed to her instead of me (his answers to both questions was an unequivocal and very decided NO). I told him I didn't know how to make it go away and that it was going to be there for the foreseeable future and that I couldn't promise it wouldn't spill over again.
His response? Hugs. Kisses. Gentle back rubbing. And the reassurance that he loved me, that I am the right person for him, that he doesn't know what to do for me but that he'll always be there for me, that he'll help me now and forever. But the most important part of his response was listening to me, not getting angry with me and not judging me.
Talking with him definitely helped but it hasn't made the jealous feelings go away completely and, honestly, I don't know if they ever will. I hope they do, but until then, the best thing I can do is to keep talking to the Beau about it and making sure he knows when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable to those feelings.
Because that's what jealousy does: it makes you feel bad about things but it also festers and if you don't talk about it, if you don't recognize it for what it is, it will continue to spread and before you know it you're fighting with the person you love about who's turn it was to empty the dishwasher and then you're sleeping in separate beds or worse separate homes, for good. And I never want that to happen.
I do plan on beating this jealousy thing though. I just don't expect it to be easy.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
MORE RUNNING!
Last night I went out running again and it was the first time since I've started that I actually wanted to go out. Usually it's all, "I have to go running now to keep up with the progress I've made." But I had planned to go in the early evening and I didn't try to make excuses or spend an hour saying, "I don't want to go running...but I have to."
It was a pretty nice feeling, I gotta say.
It was also a damn hard run - 25 minutes straight. I managed to do it, but it hurt. My allergies may be playing a part in the breathing pains I was having, but by the time I went to bed (4 hours after finishing) my lungs were still a bit sore. Even today, 15 hours later, I can still feel little twinges when I breathe deeply. I will be a very happy girl when allergy season is over. (Wait, when IS allergy season over?)
Even with the breathing challenges, I'm pretty proud of my progress though sometimes I need to be reminded to be proud. The Beau is my biggest cheerleader and after every run, when I tell him how long I ran for, he always responds with genuine enthusiasm and pride. And when I start comparing my progress to that of marathoners (which of course makes my 25 minutes seem like nuthin!) he makes sure I realize that, for most people, running for 25 minutes straight IS a big deal and should be treated as such. It's an accomplishment and shouldn't be scoffed at.
And - you know what? - I agree!
It was a pretty nice feeling, I gotta say.
It was also a damn hard run - 25 minutes straight. I managed to do it, but it hurt. My allergies may be playing a part in the breathing pains I was having, but by the time I went to bed (4 hours after finishing) my lungs were still a bit sore. Even today, 15 hours later, I can still feel little twinges when I breathe deeply. I will be a very happy girl when allergy season is over. (Wait, when IS allergy season over?)
Even with the breathing challenges, I'm pretty proud of my progress though sometimes I need to be reminded to be proud. The Beau is my biggest cheerleader and after every run, when I tell him how long I ran for, he always responds with genuine enthusiasm and pride. And when I start comparing my progress to that of marathoners (which of course makes my 25 minutes seem like nuthin!) he makes sure I realize that, for most people, running for 25 minutes straight IS a big deal and should be treated as such. It's an accomplishment and shouldn't be scoffed at.
And - you know what? - I agree!
 |
| Post-run sunset. Aaaaaaahhhhh. |
Saturday, June 15, 2013
RUNNING!
Last night proved to be another wonderful night for a run. Though there was a point when I almost poured myself a glass of wine but I was strong and went running first - and it was SO WORTH IT.
Last night's run was run one of week seven of the Couch to 5K program and the furthest I've made it yet with the program (last time I did it I topped out at week six). I was a little worried about the run because it was the second long run of the program - 22 whole, continuous minutes. Even though I was scared and worried that I wouldn't be able to do it, I made myself go out. The result?
I DID IT! I RAN FOR 22 WHOLE STRAIGHT MINUTES!
There was even a point where I think I was hitting the beginning of the mythical runner's high, where I felt I could go forever. This was tempered rather quickly, though, by the feeling that I was going to die but then the magical, mechanical voice in my app said "One minute left" (sweeter words I've never heard!) and I pushed through and made it. And it was awesome.
So far I'm only worrying about time spent running, not distance. I know I have to eventually focus on distance but I'm more interested in getting my endurance up. When I ran on the treadmill I was at a 7-minute-kilometre pace. If I'm doing about that outside (and I honestly don't know what my speed is) then last night's run would have put me at 3 km, or 60% of where I need to be for a 5K. (Did I mention I've registered for a 5K? No? Well, I may or may not be doing a 5K that may or may not be in September. Heh.) Of course, throwing out the 60% number takes away a bit from the 22-minute number, but I'm not discouraged by it. I've got lots of time before September, so lots of time to keep building my endurance.
I've gotta say, I was beginning to think that I'd never really be a "runner" of any kind but since I've started running outside it's been so much better. I think I just might be able to do this.
Last night's run was run one of week seven of the Couch to 5K program and the furthest I've made it yet with the program (last time I did it I topped out at week six). I was a little worried about the run because it was the second long run of the program - 22 whole, continuous minutes. Even though I was scared and worried that I wouldn't be able to do it, I made myself go out. The result?
I DID IT! I RAN FOR 22 WHOLE STRAIGHT MINUTES!
There was even a point where I think I was hitting the beginning of the mythical runner's high, where I felt I could go forever. This was tempered rather quickly, though, by the feeling that I was going to die but then the magical, mechanical voice in my app said "One minute left" (sweeter words I've never heard!) and I pushed through and made it. And it was awesome.
So far I'm only worrying about time spent running, not distance. I know I have to eventually focus on distance but I'm more interested in getting my endurance up. When I ran on the treadmill I was at a 7-minute-kilometre pace. If I'm doing about that outside (and I honestly don't know what my speed is) then last night's run would have put me at 3 km, or 60% of where I need to be for a 5K. (Did I mention I've registered for a 5K? No? Well, I may or may not be doing a 5K that may or may not be in September. Heh.) Of course, throwing out the 60% number takes away a bit from the 22-minute number, but I'm not discouraged by it. I've got lots of time before September, so lots of time to keep building my endurance.
I've gotta say, I was beginning to think that I'd never really be a "runner" of any kind but since I've started running outside it's been so much better. I think I just might be able to do this.
 |
| Evening run, FTW. |
Thursday, June 13, 2013
The wedding present backlash
So apparently there's this new trend where people write articles and blog posts decrying the outdated, old-fashioned, selfish, terrible, horrible, no good and very bad practice of not just giving gifts at a wedding but also of brides- and grooms-to-be of having the audacity to ask for presents.
(I'm sure there are more examples out there. These are the two I came across today that prompted this post.)
Because anyone getting married is a selfish jerk who should not at all expect anything from their guests. And I get it; we're asking our guests to travel for our wedding and possibly book a hotel room and those costs add up. But because our invitations do not state "GIFT MANDATORY YOU UNGRATEFUL BUM", we're okay with how we've arranged the logistics.
I'll be honest, I could have done without a gift registry. When the Beau and I set up house last October, we combined two full households. Do you know what we bought for our three-bedroom home? A bed frame, an IKEA closet (but only because our master bedroom closet was tres petite) and two couches. THAT'S IT. We already had, between us, enough furniture to furnish said three bedrooms (add: one bed frame and one closet); most of the main floor living room (add: the two couches); the dining room; the kitchen (gadgets, not furniture, but still); the basement living room; the basement den; the basement kitchen (yay storage!); the front entryway; and this interesting space we have in our dining room/kitchen that nicely accommodates our buffet and another storage cabinet and also holds one of our two desks that we use as an extra table for big family dinners.
Plus, we have bath towels, tea towels, dish cloths, flatware, stemware, dishes, a coffee maker (as well as a much-loved Keurig, which was a housewarming gift), place mats, table cloths, an iron and ironing board and all the small appliances a person could need. (Except a food processor, but we've purposely put off buying one of those so we could put it on the registry.)
I'm not trying to brag about how much we have, but instead make the point that when someone makes the argument that gift giving is outdated because it's no longer about young'uns leaving their parents' house for the matrimonial home and needing everything to set up house, I can understand the argument. When it comes to giving a gift at a wedding, it's not about "What lovely thing can I pick out for the couple that they will need and love and appreciate for years to come?" but instead "They have everything. What's the point in buying something for them?"
This, of course, is where the wedding registry comes in handy, yet many hate on it as well. Because the Beau and I have so much that we need, we made the decision to build our registry around the few things we don't have (like the food processor); one high-end item that we're honestly not expecting anyone to buy but we wanted to give the option (erm, Le Creuset); and items that will replace old/mismatched/worn out items we currently have (like new, matching coffee mugs and a full dinnerware set for 12). We also registered at Mountain Equipment Co-op as we enjoy the outdoors and could use a few more things. And I know some people who don't like registries and who would rather buy a gift they like and think the couple will like. This is fine, but I view registries as a list of what the couple wants and will use, which to me is much more practical to shop from. And since we've included some pretty things on our registry, guests can buy items that aren't just utilitarian.
I think we did alright with our registry and we were very aware of how much things cost and that we should give our guests a wide range of options to fit all budgets. And if someone doesn't give us a gift? No biggie - that guest will still get a thank-you card because that guest celebrated with us and that's what matters.
So why did we bother with the registry? I think it's about the generational divide more than anything. Guests from our parents' generation were very keen on us creating a registry so they would be able to buy us something that we wanted, rather than just give us an impersonal cash gift. Of course, some will prefer to give cash. Some will prefer to pool resources and give one gift on behalf of several couples/families. And some will give us a card and leave it at that. But it's okay because all options are wonderful and fantastic and completely acceptable.
So were did the backlash against giving wedding gifts (and wedding registries in general) come from? This is all just my opinion, as I haven't researched anything and don't have any data to back up my thoughts, but I wonder if it comes from engaged couples who have everything building a registry of more expensive items that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves but are better to give as gifts. Or maybe it comes from the brazen couples who specify cash amounts to give in lieu of gifts (a practice I consider rather gauche). Or perhaps it's simply a general backlash against the wedding industry, one that is growing and constantly demanding more and more from couples (engagement party! bachelor party! bachelorette party! stag and doe! bridal showers! rehearsal dinner! post-wedding brunch/lunch/something!) and their guest list.
Then, of course, there's the etiquette that says a guest should spend as much on a wedding gift as the couple has spent on the food/drink for said guest. I think this is a great starting point, but again, it's up to each guest how much to spend.
One thing I did wish was available when we were registering was the ability to register for events. Because we're watching our costs with the wedding planning, we're not going out as much and gift cards for dinners out, a night at the movies, theatre or museum tickets or a fancy food store would be awesome. (Perhaps this should be a new business venture...?) But even though we didn't find that, we found what works for us and we're going to share that with our guests. How they use that information is completely up to them.
When it comes to my own wedding, I view it in two ways: firstly, as a legal ceremony to officially make me and the Beau husband and wife and secondly, a celebration of this awesome new legality. He and I both want to make it a fun and fantastic experience for our guests. Anything on top of that is a wonderful bonus.
The bottom line: buy a gift if you want to. That is your right and regardless of your decision, you should expect a thank-you card. (I feel skipping the thank-you card is a bigger faux pas than skipping the gift, but maybe that's just me.) Of course, each couple will react differently to guests who don't gift and that this their right. But don't be angry because two people decided to make a list of what they want and told you where you can buy it. Go to the wedding, have fun celebrating your friends/family/work buddy/acquaintance nuptials and be sure to tell the bride she looks beautiful.
And if you're at my wedding, expect a thank-you card. (I'm really keen on those.)
(I'm sure there are more examples out there. These are the two I came across today that prompted this post.)
Because anyone getting married is a selfish jerk who should not at all expect anything from their guests. And I get it; we're asking our guests to travel for our wedding and possibly book a hotel room and those costs add up. But because our invitations do not state "GIFT MANDATORY YOU UNGRATEFUL BUM", we're okay with how we've arranged the logistics.
I'll be honest, I could have done without a gift registry. When the Beau and I set up house last October, we combined two full households. Do you know what we bought for our three-bedroom home? A bed frame, an IKEA closet (but only because our master bedroom closet was tres petite) and two couches. THAT'S IT. We already had, between us, enough furniture to furnish said three bedrooms (add: one bed frame and one closet); most of the main floor living room (add: the two couches); the dining room; the kitchen (gadgets, not furniture, but still); the basement living room; the basement den; the basement kitchen (yay storage!); the front entryway; and this interesting space we have in our dining room/kitchen that nicely accommodates our buffet and another storage cabinet and also holds one of our two desks that we use as an extra table for big family dinners.
Plus, we have bath towels, tea towels, dish cloths, flatware, stemware, dishes, a coffee maker (as well as a much-loved Keurig, which was a housewarming gift), place mats, table cloths, an iron and ironing board and all the small appliances a person could need. (Except a food processor, but we've purposely put off buying one of those so we could put it on the registry.)
I'm not trying to brag about how much we have, but instead make the point that when someone makes the argument that gift giving is outdated because it's no longer about young'uns leaving their parents' house for the matrimonial home and needing everything to set up house, I can understand the argument. When it comes to giving a gift at a wedding, it's not about "What lovely thing can I pick out for the couple that they will need and love and appreciate for years to come?" but instead "They have everything. What's the point in buying something for them?"
This, of course, is where the wedding registry comes in handy, yet many hate on it as well. Because the Beau and I have so much that we need, we made the decision to build our registry around the few things we don't have (like the food processor); one high-end item that we're honestly not expecting anyone to buy but we wanted to give the option (erm, Le Creuset); and items that will replace old/mismatched/worn out items we currently have (like new, matching coffee mugs and a full dinnerware set for 12). We also registered at Mountain Equipment Co-op as we enjoy the outdoors and could use a few more things. And I know some people who don't like registries and who would rather buy a gift they like and think the couple will like. This is fine, but I view registries as a list of what the couple wants and will use, which to me is much more practical to shop from. And since we've included some pretty things on our registry, guests can buy items that aren't just utilitarian.
I think we did alright with our registry and we were very aware of how much things cost and that we should give our guests a wide range of options to fit all budgets. And if someone doesn't give us a gift? No biggie - that guest will still get a thank-you card because that guest celebrated with us and that's what matters.
So why did we bother with the registry? I think it's about the generational divide more than anything. Guests from our parents' generation were very keen on us creating a registry so they would be able to buy us something that we wanted, rather than just give us an impersonal cash gift. Of course, some will prefer to give cash. Some will prefer to pool resources and give one gift on behalf of several couples/families. And some will give us a card and leave it at that. But it's okay because all options are wonderful and fantastic and completely acceptable.
So were did the backlash against giving wedding gifts (and wedding registries in general) come from? This is all just my opinion, as I haven't researched anything and don't have any data to back up my thoughts, but I wonder if it comes from engaged couples who have everything building a registry of more expensive items that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves but are better to give as gifts. Or maybe it comes from the brazen couples who specify cash amounts to give in lieu of gifts (a practice I consider rather gauche). Or perhaps it's simply a general backlash against the wedding industry, one that is growing and constantly demanding more and more from couples (engagement party! bachelor party! bachelorette party! stag and doe! bridal showers! rehearsal dinner! post-wedding brunch/lunch/something!) and their guest list.
Then, of course, there's the etiquette that says a guest should spend as much on a wedding gift as the couple has spent on the food/drink for said guest. I think this is a great starting point, but again, it's up to each guest how much to spend.
One thing I did wish was available when we were registering was the ability to register for events. Because we're watching our costs with the wedding planning, we're not going out as much and gift cards for dinners out, a night at the movies, theatre or museum tickets or a fancy food store would be awesome. (Perhaps this should be a new business venture...?) But even though we didn't find that, we found what works for us and we're going to share that with our guests. How they use that information is completely up to them.
When it comes to my own wedding, I view it in two ways: firstly, as a legal ceremony to officially make me and the Beau husband and wife and secondly, a celebration of this awesome new legality. He and I both want to make it a fun and fantastic experience for our guests. Anything on top of that is a wonderful bonus.
The bottom line: buy a gift if you want to. That is your right and regardless of your decision, you should expect a thank-you card. (I feel skipping the thank-you card is a bigger faux pas than skipping the gift, but maybe that's just me.) Of course, each couple will react differently to guests who don't gift and that this their right. But don't be angry because two people decided to make a list of what they want and told you where you can buy it. Go to the wedding, have fun celebrating your friends/family/work buddy/acquaintance nuptials and be sure to tell the bride she looks beautiful.
And if you're at my wedding, expect a thank-you card. (I'm really keen on those.)
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Real, perfect weddings - like mine, right?!
My cousin's sister-in-law recently got married and the photos have been shared over Facebook. And let me just say - the photos are amazing! The wedding was incredibly beautiful with many well-thought-out details and a lovely vintage theme. In fact, you can see some if for yourself right here!
With my own wedding fast approaching (150 days to go!) I find I both love and loathe looking at other weddings, especially real weddings.
I was never one of those girls who has had her dream wedding planned since she was a child, nor did I have a clear idea of how things just had to be once I got engaged. Because our guest list is at 180, the biggest factor when we started planning was finding the right place at the right cost to comfortably accommodate our guests. And it's all worked out just fine and I love the venues we've picked but that doesn't stop me from feeling both envious and doubtful when I see other weddings.
Of course, each couple is different and will want different things in their wedding (another cousin of mine is getting married in Mexico next February because that works for them) but that doesn't make me stop second-guessing our decisions.
It's not like it's some kind of competition - even though those things exist - or that people are going to leave my wedding and say, "Well, it would have been better if they'd done what [insert other couple here] had done." And really it's not about the wedding but about the marriage, about making it official and legal and then celebrating the awesomeness of it.
As a bride-to-be I've spent hours on Martha Stewart Weddings and other sites for ideas but I know those photos and ideas are staged to look as perfect as possible, so I take the inspiration but not the exact execution. But real weddings - man, they're always so perfect that I instantly start to worry that mine won't be. And that's what it comes down to, right? Not just the desire for a perfect wedding but the desire for everyone else to thing it's perfect.
All brides-to-be go through this, right? Right?!
(Our wedding will be perfect. I know that. Honestly, I do!)
With my own wedding fast approaching (150 days to go!) I find I both love and loathe looking at other weddings, especially real weddings.
I was never one of those girls who has had her dream wedding planned since she was a child, nor did I have a clear idea of how things just had to be once I got engaged. Because our guest list is at 180, the biggest factor when we started planning was finding the right place at the right cost to comfortably accommodate our guests. And it's all worked out just fine and I love the venues we've picked but that doesn't stop me from feeling both envious and doubtful when I see other weddings.
Of course, each couple is different and will want different things in their wedding (another cousin of mine is getting married in Mexico next February because that works for them) but that doesn't make me stop second-guessing our decisions.
It's not like it's some kind of competition - even though those things exist - or that people are going to leave my wedding and say, "Well, it would have been better if they'd done what [insert other couple here] had done." And really it's not about the wedding but about the marriage, about making it official and legal and then celebrating the awesomeness of it.
As a bride-to-be I've spent hours on Martha Stewart Weddings and other sites for ideas but I know those photos and ideas are staged to look as perfect as possible, so I take the inspiration but not the exact execution. But real weddings - man, they're always so perfect that I instantly start to worry that mine won't be. And that's what it comes down to, right? Not just the desire for a perfect wedding but the desire for everyone else to thing it's perfect.
All brides-to-be go through this, right? Right?!
(Our wedding will be perfect. I know that. Honestly, I do!)
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Smooth(ie) movies
You know what? Smoothies are awesome. I've been having one every morning for breakfast and I kind of love them. I just make one each night before bed and grab it on my way to the bus stop and by the time I get to work I'm full of fruity (sometimes veggie) goodness - though I still need a coffee.
It's also a great way for me to get more fruit in my life since I'm so hit and miss with my fruit consumption. (The mad apple cravings I was having a month ago have passed.)
I've been fervently collecting smoothie recipes and I'm finally getting brave enough to change them up and add and subtract ingredients as I see fit. One thing I've done is stop making my smoothies with yogurt. While using Greek yogurt gives a smoothie a great protein boost, I'm just not a fan. For liquid, I'll use 1% milk but mostly water is just fine. I guess it depends on how think you like your smoothie; if you want to be able to walk on it, go with yogurt. If you like it a little thinner, milk or water will do that for you.
And that's a big reason why smoothies are so great: customization baby! I've already shared my love of the peanut butter-banana smoothie; here are two more I'm into right now:
Spinach-strawberry-mango-banana smoothie
1 banana
1 cup mango
1/2 cup strawberries
Handful spinach
1 cup liquid (I use milk in this one)
Then blend it up and drink it up!
I also through in one scoop of vanilla protein powder and a tablespoon of flax seed oil.
Grapefruit-mango-strawberry smoothie
1 medium grapefruit, peeled and sectioned (I cheated and used stuff from a jar)
1/2 cup mango
1/2 cup strawberries
1 cup water (I feel like milk would be weird with grapefruit)
Blend and drink!
Again, I did my protein powder and flax seed additions. I don't eat a lot of citrus fruit so this is a great way for me to get some extra vitamin C.
It's also a great way for me to get more fruit in my life since I'm so hit and miss with my fruit consumption. (The mad apple cravings I was having a month ago have passed.)
I've been fervently collecting smoothie recipes and I'm finally getting brave enough to change them up and add and subtract ingredients as I see fit. One thing I've done is stop making my smoothies with yogurt. While using Greek yogurt gives a smoothie a great protein boost, I'm just not a fan. For liquid, I'll use 1% milk but mostly water is just fine. I guess it depends on how think you like your smoothie; if you want to be able to walk on it, go with yogurt. If you like it a little thinner, milk or water will do that for you.
And that's a big reason why smoothies are so great: customization baby! I've already shared my love of the peanut butter-banana smoothie; here are two more I'm into right now:
Spinach-strawberry-mango-banana smoothie
1 banana
1 cup mango
1/2 cup strawberries
Handful spinach
1 cup liquid (I use milk in this one)
Then blend it up and drink it up!
I also through in one scoop of vanilla protein powder and a tablespoon of flax seed oil.
 |
| Spinach and strawberries and mango, oh my! |
Grapefruit-mango-strawberry smoothie
1 medium grapefruit, peeled and sectioned (I cheated and used stuff from a jar)
1/2 cup mango
1/2 cup strawberries
1 cup water (I feel like milk would be weird with grapefruit)
Blend and drink!
Again, I did my protein powder and flax seed additions. I don't eat a lot of citrus fruit so this is a great way for me to get some extra vitamin C.
 |
| See those grapefruit chunks in the bottom? |
Monday, June 3, 2013
A (TV) marathon and my own long run
Every few weeks, the Beau and I are gifted with a Sunday where we have absolutely nothing to do - no plans, no commitments, no pressing house or wedding duties. When these Sundays roll around we do our best to enjoy them in all their lazy, responsibility-free splendor.
Yesterday was one of those Sundays.
Now, it's not very often that the plan-free Sunday is also a house-duty-free Sunday, but we hosted my book club on Saturday night and cleaned up after the party, so there was no need to do housework. Just a couple loads of laundry and we were good for the day.
The weather also cooperated with us, in that it rained on and off for most of the day so we didn't feel the least bit guilty spending the day inside, on the couches (I'm so glad we have two!), watching a TV marathon.
And no, it was not an Arrested Development marathon. Instead, we watched Orphan Black. It just so happened the season finale for Orphan Black was Saturday night and Space, the station that carries the show, ran the entire season during the day Saturday. So we PVRed all the episodes and settled in for a day of excellent TV.
What. A. Show.
Orphan Black is a sci-fi show that centres around a young woman's discovery that she is one of many clones. Who made her, where she came from, why she was made and how she can have her own biological daughter are all explored in the 10 episodes of season one and it is one hell of a story.
But while watching Orphan Black, I kept thinking about running (and not just because the characters do a lot of running, for exercise and other reasons). I wanted to keep the momentum from Friday going but I also knew what was waiting for me in my next run: 20 minutes of straight running. I had hit this point last year when I did the Couch to 5K program and I successfully ran for 20 minutes, so I was also worried about not being able to match my previous performance.
Finally, shortly after 8pm, I made up my mind: I was going for a run.
The biggest change from Friday night to Sunday night was the weather. Gone was the humidity that had helped keep the air (and my airways) warm; now I was faced with a 16-degree evening, complete with chilly breeze.
Normally that kind of temperature is what I love - perfect for walking around the neighbourhood with a coffee. But I had to run and run I did. And I made it - almost. At about the 17-minute mark, I took a 30 second walking break, then ran the remaining time. But only 30 seconds of walking. Otherwise, it was all me, all running, all success.
When I got home, the Beau was so happy and supportive about my progress and corrected me when I said that my 17 minutes of running was probably a warm-up to most people; he said that for the average person, 17 minutes of steady running was excellent and something to be proud of.
So I am proud. And I feel pretty good today, though my lungs are a little tight still from the cold last night. But because I'll be fine, it was totally worth it.
Yesterday was one of those Sundays.
Now, it's not very often that the plan-free Sunday is also a house-duty-free Sunday, but we hosted my book club on Saturday night and cleaned up after the party, so there was no need to do housework. Just a couple loads of laundry and we were good for the day.
The weather also cooperated with us, in that it rained on and off for most of the day so we didn't feel the least bit guilty spending the day inside, on the couches (I'm so glad we have two!), watching a TV marathon.
And no, it was not an Arrested Development marathon. Instead, we watched Orphan Black. It just so happened the season finale for Orphan Black was Saturday night and Space, the station that carries the show, ran the entire season during the day Saturday. So we PVRed all the episodes and settled in for a day of excellent TV.
What. A. Show.
Orphan Black is a sci-fi show that centres around a young woman's discovery that she is one of many clones. Who made her, where she came from, why she was made and how she can have her own biological daughter are all explored in the 10 episodes of season one and it is one hell of a story.
But while watching Orphan Black, I kept thinking about running (and not just because the characters do a lot of running, for exercise and other reasons). I wanted to keep the momentum from Friday going but I also knew what was waiting for me in my next run: 20 minutes of straight running. I had hit this point last year when I did the Couch to 5K program and I successfully ran for 20 minutes, so I was also worried about not being able to match my previous performance.
Finally, shortly after 8pm, I made up my mind: I was going for a run.
The biggest change from Friday night to Sunday night was the weather. Gone was the humidity that had helped keep the air (and my airways) warm; now I was faced with a 16-degree evening, complete with chilly breeze.
Normally that kind of temperature is what I love - perfect for walking around the neighbourhood with a coffee. But I had to run and run I did. And I made it - almost. At about the 17-minute mark, I took a 30 second walking break, then ran the remaining time. But only 30 seconds of walking. Otherwise, it was all me, all running, all success.
When I got home, the Beau was so happy and supportive about my progress and corrected me when I said that my 17 minutes of running was probably a warm-up to most people; he said that for the average person, 17 minutes of steady running was excellent and something to be proud of.
So I am proud. And I feel pretty good today, though my lungs are a little tight still from the cold last night. But because I'll be fine, it was totally worth it.
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