I made it home from work earlier than normal today (meaning I'm home just after midnight, rather than around 2 am) so I'm still a little wired and unable to sleep. This kind of sucks because it would be nice to get to bed at a decent hour so I can get up at a decent hour on my day off and actually have a full productive day.
I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately, mostly because I haven't seen my BFF in far too long and I've come to a realization - I'm kind of a bad friend. Not bad in the "Don't-tell-anyone"-and-I-promptly-update-my-Facebook-status kind of way, but in the I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever-but-I'm-still-not-making-plans-with-you kind of way. And it's not that I don't want to see my friends. It's a character flaw of mine: I'm far too passive when it comes to things like that and I always have this nagging thought that says, "[Insert person here] doesn't really want to see you."
There are the standard excuses, of course, but I will say that my new work schedule has been wreaking havoc on all areas of my life, not just my social calendar. Case in point: I barely got home early enough last night to see the Beau before he went to bed. Had I not seen him last night, I would have gone from Monday morning to Wednesday afternoon without seeing him awake. This is not a complaint so much as it's a fact of my new reality. And it's taking some adjusting. (Though my kitty loves it; she now gets all kinds of cuddles at random hours when before she would have either been alone or been stuck with two unwakeable humans.)
So what am I going to do about my shitty friend-being? I'm going to work at being better, that's for sure. But I also don't want to be that person who makes all kinds of plans and then cancels because something comes up or I get lazy. And, let's face it, laziness is also an integral part of my character.
But too lazy to maintain the things that are important to me? That's just sad. And I know that. So as part of my quest for better happy health, I am going to make a better effort at being a friend.