Yesterday was not a good day. In fact, this week has not been a good week and it was compounded just a bit when I got on the scale:
Last week: 185.2 lb
This week: 187.2 lb
Total gained this week: 2.0 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 5.4 lb
Honestly, I was taken by surprise. A 2lb gain was much more than I expected and proceeded to deflate me immensely. So I pouted and scowled and stormed around the house for a bit, then put on my best fake smile and went to get my hair cut.
Interestingly enough, that's where my mood broke (and not just because of my fresh new 'do).
While chatting with my stylist, Sergio, we started talking about football (a.k.a soccer), as he's Argentinian and I knew he was into it. While he didn't watch Euro Cup (no Argentina), we started talking about football players and, of course, David Beckham. I then expressed that I don't find Becks attractive; his is not the body type I enjoy. Sergio was surprised to hear this, as he thought all women lusted for the Beckham-bodied type. We then started talking about body shapes and sizes and how men feel pressure to look good (which, honestly, surprised me) and he said that what attracts him most, beyond womanly curves, is sensuality and a woman who projects a confidence and love of herself. This is the first time I've heard first-hand a man say this, without being pointedly asked or without some fishing for compliments. He finished the conversation by saying, "No matter what shape, there someone out there for everyone."
Amen to that.
And, without even realizing it, my mood was slowly buoyed and finally lifted by the end of the conversation. I'm even still feeling better today. I still want to be slimmer, more toned and more fit, but now I feel calmer having heard a man essentially say it's okay to be me as I am. Just own it.
Perhaps I should work on that, along with my squats.