Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Good News/Bad News

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend full of family, food and fun. I know I sure did - which made it all the harder to come back to work today.

It's been a day of highs and lows, that's for sure. Finishing an issue after a long weekend is always a bit stressful; it's always painfully obvious how much is accomplished on Mondays when Monday is taken away from you. But we got everything done on time (so far). Too bad I've felt like a punching bag all day.

Tensions have been a bit high at work lately as personalities and work styles have been clashing. And it just so happens that my job puts me right in the middle of it all and, in my efforts to keep things on schedule, I inevitably rub someone the wrong way when asking about the timing of something and end up on the receiving end of some snark. And, for some reason, today it's been incredibly hard to not take it personally. Everyone is under pressure and I'm also in that obnoxious position where I just tell people what needs doing and by when but I don't actually do anything (like write, design, or photograph). We're also incredibly busy at work right now and people are venting, which led me to feeling like a punching bag this afternoon. I even teared up a bit (and I DON'T cry at work).

So it's been a day.

On the flip side, we just found out that our conditionally sold condo is now unconditionally sold - WE SOLD IT! We also brought the kitty home last night, being daring and confident that the sale would go through. And the timing is just perfect: we're all back together for a couple of weeks before phase two of the move and we can relax and enjoy the cool fall weather without worrying about staging and showings and stressing over whether we'll sell.

Very much a roller coaster of a day. I may have to come into the office for a few hours tomorrow, but not until later in the day so I'll still get to sleep in, cuddle a cat, get some groceries and enjoy my day.

Even with the crappy stuff of today, just writing this has made me feel better. I've been griping about work a bit lately and I don't like it. Thanksgiving especially made me aware of how grateful I am for all the goodness in my life and all the wonderful things I get to be and do and experience. Rough patches are always tough and it can be even tougher when there isn't an end in sight and it can be far too easy to get discouraged and frustrated and want to quit (which I've threatened to do [in my head] about 17 times today). The bigger challenge for me right now is to figure out how to leave the stresses and pressures of work at the office and how to keep the joy and love of my personal life front and centre, no matter where I am.

So this will be a big challenge for me, to not carry all my stresses with me wherever I go. But it will be so much better for me if I can learn how to let go, how to leave it all behind, how to not internalize everything until I burst. The Beau has been my strongest supporter and biggest advocate, for which I am so thankful, so I need to focus on his cheerleading and believe it myself.

Because it's not that bad, at the end of the (work) day.

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