Sunday, January 23, 2011

What's weighing on my mind

My attempts at getting healthy are focused more on making lifestyle changes that I can stick with, rather than setting hard goals.  Is that smart?  I'm not sure, but here's the rationale for doing it this way:

By aiming to make lifestyle changes, I will find ways to be healthy overall and not only achieve better physical, mental and financial health but also develop the habits I need to maintain my new-found health.

I was worried that if I set hard goals and didn't meet them, I'd feel discouraged and give up (what can I say, I know myself).

Thing is, I can't know if any of my changes are actually helping without at least knowing where I'm starting from.  Since I've been on the physical health kick lately, I decided to weigh myself today.

Feet = not mine/Reaction = mine

I knew the number would not be good, but I thought it would be better than it was.  I'm so upset by it that I can't bring myself to share it, even if there are only about three people who would read it here (and one person I live with and another I used to live with).

And now, after seeing what I weigh, I feel discouraged.  I feel like I can't do anything to make a difference.  I feel like it's all pointless and why even bother?

It's a conundrum, really.  To know I'm making progress, I need to know the starting point.  But knowing the starting point is discouraging and now I feel like I can't do it.  Sigh.

I'll get over it; I always feel like this after weighing myself and I always get happier eventually.  But even if I don't share my weight, I know what it is and I'm going to have to keep weighing myself to see if my healthy changes are working.  Maybe, eventually, I'll feel ready to share.

(Numbers will matter more, though, when it comes to my finances and financial health.  I'll be focusing on that more soon.)

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