Back on track! Here's hoping I can lose two weeks in a row:
Last week: 189.6 lb
This week: 188.4 lb
Total lost this week: 1.2 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 6.6 lb
Of course, this is familiar territory as I've see-sawed over and under this weight a few times in the past several weeks. All I can do is keep going, keep trying and keep aiming for my weight loss target.
I may not be able to run right now, but I can still Weigh Watch(ers)!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Running with disappointment
Last week, I had a great run. I was able to go for 25 minutes which, while peanuts to most, was a big deal for me. It was longest I'd been able to run yet and my lungs were burning by the end. But I did it and that made me incredibly proud and excited and pleased with my progress.
This past Sunday, I went for a run again with the goal of besting my 25 minutes (even 26 would have been awesome)...and I couldn't make it past 5 minutes. My lungs just seemed to stop working and it felt like I had a rubber band around my throat.
I had taken my asthma meds (even an extra shot of Ventalin to try to open my airways) but it didn't help. The culprit? I can only assume it's my allergies that have sprung up at the worst time ever. I also took an allergy pill to help combat symptoms but no luck. No running for me.
So I tried again yesterday - with the same results. And I'm still a little wheezy. And incredibly upset.
My asthma has always been triggered by the environment and by exercise. My inhalers really help with the exercise part and the environmental triggers haven't been that bad of late, but this fall they're suddenly terrible. The downside to all of this (and the biggest piss-off) is that I don't think I can do my zombie run. I mean, I really want to. REALLY want to. But running in a field outside of Barrie can only wreak further havoc on my already-tight lungs. And this is crushing.
I've felt really down about this the past two days. I've felt stupid for thinking I could do it. I've felt like a failure for not being able to overcome it. I've felt like an ass for telling anyone I was planning to do it. I've felt like giving up running altogether. I've felt fat and lazy and incompetent and incapable. And, I'll admit, I still feel that way a bit.
It's so disappointing. I wasn't expecting to set any records but I felt like I could at least finish the course. I wanted something I could feel proud of, something I could get recognition for accomplishing. I wanted to do this.
It's not completely decided that I won't run. I'm going to try again either tomorrow or Thursday (depending on how my lungs feel) to see if I can breathe long enough to get through 5K. But, honestly, it doesn't look good.
The Beau has been wonderful the past two days, being my cheerleader and giving all kinds of positive reinforcement while also saying that not being able to breathe is a perfectly good reason to back out of a run. He even said, "No one gets to be mean to my girl, not even my girl." (See why I love this man?)
We're going out of town for the weekend, to visit his folks, and that will provide a lovely backdrop for me to lick my wounds and get over my disappointment. But it sucks. It really, really sucks.
This past Sunday, I went for a run again with the goal of besting my 25 minutes (even 26 would have been awesome)...and I couldn't make it past 5 minutes. My lungs just seemed to stop working and it felt like I had a rubber band around my throat.
I had taken my asthma meds (even an extra shot of Ventalin to try to open my airways) but it didn't help. The culprit? I can only assume it's my allergies that have sprung up at the worst time ever. I also took an allergy pill to help combat symptoms but no luck. No running for me.
So I tried again yesterday - with the same results. And I'm still a little wheezy. And incredibly upset.
My asthma has always been triggered by the environment and by exercise. My inhalers really help with the exercise part and the environmental triggers haven't been that bad of late, but this fall they're suddenly terrible. The downside to all of this (and the biggest piss-off) is that I don't think I can do my zombie run. I mean, I really want to. REALLY want to. But running in a field outside of Barrie can only wreak further havoc on my already-tight lungs. And this is crushing.
I've felt really down about this the past two days. I've felt stupid for thinking I could do it. I've felt like a failure for not being able to overcome it. I've felt like an ass for telling anyone I was planning to do it. I've felt like giving up running altogether. I've felt fat and lazy and incompetent and incapable. And, I'll admit, I still feel that way a bit.
It's so disappointing. I wasn't expecting to set any records but I felt like I could at least finish the course. I wanted something I could feel proud of, something I could get recognition for accomplishing. I wanted to do this.
It's not completely decided that I won't run. I'm going to try again either tomorrow or Thursday (depending on how my lungs feel) to see if I can breathe long enough to get through 5K. But, honestly, it doesn't look good.
The Beau has been wonderful the past two days, being my cheerleader and giving all kinds of positive reinforcement while also saying that not being able to breathe is a perfectly good reason to back out of a run. He even said, "No one gets to be mean to my girl, not even my girl." (See why I love this man?)
We're going out of town for the weekend, to visit his folks, and that will provide a lovely backdrop for me to lick my wounds and get over my disappointment. But it sucks. It really, really sucks.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Our Killarney trip
Well, this post is long overdue since it was two weeks ago tonight we headed up north.
It was a fabulous trip! Four days and three nights of backwoods camping, canoeing and hiking. The Beau and I were also joined by two of our best friends and their two wonderful dogs. We tried to canoe with one of the dogs in our boat but he had a bit of separation anxiety from his owner and, despite being a bit afraid of the water, the dog almost leaped out of our boat to get to his people! We were able to pull up on shore and safely deposit the dog into our friends' canoe and all was good.
This was also my first time to Killarney and it was breathtaking. I really do love the outdoors and don't spend nearly enough time enjoying them so having four days was just what my mind and body needed.
I mean, how can you not love this?
We also spent a day hiking up Silver Peak, which is a 3.5 km hike (one way) but up a mountain that's over 500 m in elevation. It was an intense climb:
But absolutely beautiful when we got to the top:
Each day we were so exhausted we ended up in bed not long after the sun went down but that meant we were up when the sun came up!
It was a great weekend and I'd go back in a heartbeat!
It was a fabulous trip! Four days and three nights of backwoods camping, canoeing and hiking. The Beau and I were also joined by two of our best friends and their two wonderful dogs. We tried to canoe with one of the dogs in our boat but he had a bit of separation anxiety from his owner and, despite being a bit afraid of the water, the dog almost leaped out of our boat to get to his people! We were able to pull up on shore and safely deposit the dog into our friends' canoe and all was good.
This was also my first time to Killarney and it was breathtaking. I really do love the outdoors and don't spend nearly enough time enjoying them so having four days was just what my mind and body needed.
I mean, how can you not love this?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
WW Weigh-in #36
I was able to destress long enough to get on a scale:
Last week: 189.6 lb
This week: 189.6 lb
Total gained/lost this week: 0 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 7.8 lb
Today I woke up with the idea that I would just quit WW, forget about losing the extra weight and go on with my life. Honestly that sounds so tempting!
But I'm not going to do that. I've got to commit to this and figure out what I need to do to get back on track. I still WANT to lose the weight. I just need to want it more badly that I currently do.
Last week: 189.6 lb
This week: 189.6 lb
Total gained/lost this week: 0 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 7.8 lb
Today I woke up with the idea that I would just quit WW, forget about losing the extra weight and go on with my life. Honestly that sounds so tempting!
But I'm not going to do that. I've got to commit to this and figure out what I need to do to get back on track. I still WANT to lose the weight. I just need to want it more badly that I currently do.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Speaking of stress...
If there is such a thing as a stress gene, I definitely have it. After just writing about getting over the stress of staging the condo, I've already got something new to worry about.
Are you ready for this?
I'm stressing about having to try on wedding gowns in a store. I'm not engaged. I will be marrying the Beau eventually, but nothing has been set. And it will be a formal(ish) wedding and I'll be wearing a wedding dress. That I have to buy from a store. And try on. In front of people.
Makes me nauseous.
I'm just going to add this to the stress I feel about smiling for wedding pictures (or any pictures) because there is no such thing as a good picture of me. And I'm only planning to get married once so if the pictures aren't good, that's it. My double chin worries me a lot but so does seeing photos of me.
Honestly, what would I do without all this stress to keep me company?
Are you ready for this?
I'm stressing about having to try on wedding gowns in a store. I'm not engaged. I will be marrying the Beau eventually, but nothing has been set. And it will be a formal(ish) wedding and I'll be wearing a wedding dress. That I have to buy from a store. And try on. In front of people.
Makes me nauseous.
I'm just going to add this to the stress I feel about smiling for wedding pictures (or any pictures) because there is no such thing as a good picture of me. And I'm only planning to get married once so if the pictures aren't good, that's it. My double chin worries me a lot but so does seeing photos of me.
Honestly, what would I do without all this stress to keep me company?
Staging and stress eating
Well, the condo is staged and officially on the market today. Woo hoo! It's a huge relief because staging is hard work, man! I honestly didn't anticipate it would take nearly as long as it did.
The Beau and I worked from Tuesday to Sunday of last week to get the place ready. That's six days. SIX. Two of them were spent packing up all our extra stuff (i.e. most of our furniture and belongings); the movers only needed half a day to get everything out, which was great. We then spent three and a half days cleaning, organizing and hiding what we need to live with.
And it got tense. There were a couple of times when we just weren't speaking to each other because impolite things would have been said. It was nothing the Beau was doing, of course; mostly it was me being a stress ball about getting the place perfect. I also volunteered to take time off work and do most of the work, which was fine, but I was very overwhelmed more than once.
The condo is also in the Beau's name so it really mattered that I get it perfect for him to sell. (Yes, we'll both be benefiting from the proceeds but it's still his place, at least on paper.) And all this stress lead to me eating really awful food (mostly awful for me because it sure was delicious!).
Now that the condo is staged I'm really eager to get back into my good eating habits. I know I've been saying that all summer but the housing stuff really did take a lot out of me and resulted in terrible eating habits. One thing that will help with my eating is potential buyers viewing the condo; we'll get 2 hours notice but we'll need to have lots of prefab food ready to go just in case. This is the perfect time for me to make big batches of steamed veggies, healthy soups, pre-cut veggies for salads and all those other delicious things I should be eating but am not.
I've also got my run in 11 days so I'm making sure I get in as much running as my body will handle and it would be great to be a little slimmer then.
But now that a huge source of stress has been removed from my life, I finally feel like I'm back on the right track!
The Beau and I worked from Tuesday to Sunday of last week to get the place ready. That's six days. SIX. Two of them were spent packing up all our extra stuff (i.e. most of our furniture and belongings); the movers only needed half a day to get everything out, which was great. We then spent three and a half days cleaning, organizing and hiding what we need to live with.
And it got tense. There were a couple of times when we just weren't speaking to each other because impolite things would have been said. It was nothing the Beau was doing, of course; mostly it was me being a stress ball about getting the place perfect. I also volunteered to take time off work and do most of the work, which was fine, but I was very overwhelmed more than once.
The condo is also in the Beau's name so it really mattered that I get it perfect for him to sell. (Yes, we'll both be benefiting from the proceeds but it's still his place, at least on paper.) And all this stress lead to me eating really awful food (mostly awful for me because it sure was delicious!).
Now that the condo is staged I'm really eager to get back into my good eating habits. I know I've been saying that all summer but the housing stuff really did take a lot out of me and resulted in terrible eating habits. One thing that will help with my eating is potential buyers viewing the condo; we'll get 2 hours notice but we'll need to have lots of prefab food ready to go just in case. This is the perfect time for me to make big batches of steamed veggies, healthy soups, pre-cut veggies for salads and all those other delicious things I should be eating but am not.
I've also got my run in 11 days so I'm making sure I get in as much running as my body will handle and it would be great to be a little slimmer then.
But now that a huge source of stress has been removed from my life, I finally feel like I'm back on the right track!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
WW Weigh-In #35
And we go back again:
Last week: 187.2 lb
This week: 189.6 lb
Total gained this week: 2.4 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 7.8 lb
The Beau and I spend the weekend in Killarney, hiking, canoeing and camping, along with two of our closest friends and their beautiful dogs (pictures and a longer post to come).
One of the main things about being backwoods camping for four days is that the food had to be non-perishable and carb-heavy - I think that is a big reason why I gained weight. Also, the lack of vegetables and other fibre sources caused a, well, backlog in the plumbing, if you catch my drift.
But we're back in the city now and we've spent the last two days packing for the first part of our staged move (more on that later as well). Slowly but surely life is returning to normal and soon I'll be back on the right weight loss schedule.
Last week: 187.2 lb
This week: 189.6 lb
Total gained this week: 2.4 lb
Weight loss target: 181.8 lb
To reach target: 7.8 lb
The Beau and I spend the weekend in Killarney, hiking, canoeing and camping, along with two of our closest friends and their beautiful dogs (pictures and a longer post to come).
One of the main things about being backwoods camping for four days is that the food had to be non-perishable and carb-heavy - I think that is a big reason why I gained weight. Also, the lack of vegetables and other fibre sources caused a, well, backlog in the plumbing, if you catch my drift.
But we're back in the city now and we've spent the last two days packing for the first part of our staged move (more on that later as well). Slowly but surely life is returning to normal and soon I'll be back on the right weight loss schedule.
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