Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Word of the day: a-poc-a-lypse (noun) Great or total devastation; doom.

Sarah Palin has written her memoirs.  And I thought Dan Brown’s books were a waste of trees.

It’s titled Going Rogue, which makes sense.  Much like Rogue from X-Men, Sarah Palin manages to suck the life force out of anything she touches, leaving it a dead or dying shell of its former self.  But unlike Rogue from X-Men, I still don’t like her.  Sarah Palin I mean.

But really though, what the hell can she have to say that can take up 400 pages?  There are only so many chapters that can be devoted to stupid baby names.  Maybe there’s an extensive primer on how to get your teenage Christian daughter knocked up? I can see it now:

Chapter 32: Pregnancy

Abstinence doesn't work.

Or maybe she talks about what lipstick colour is best to differentiate hockey moms from pit bulls.  Or how she didn't seem to have a problem with rape victims in Wasilla having to pay for their own rape kits.  (But if there’s no hard evidence to charge a rapist, no charges can be laid, ergo crime rates go down.  So it makes sense, right?  I hate her.)  Or maybe she writes about how she’s an embarrassment to women in general and to women in politics specifically. 

Although anyone could fill 400 pages if they’re using a 72 pt font.

While I would never in a hundred-million-billion years ever spend money on this drivel, if a copy were to be within my reach I would feel compelled to pick it up and read a few pages.  Really, you can’t deny the entertainment value of a book like this. 

I sure hope she tries to run for President in 2012, if only for the sound bites and to guarantee Obama a second term.

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